Not the end...

Dear Bambino,

As I sit here trying to think of something creative to write for you on the last day of your birthday month I find myself a bit blocked - so this may be a bit of a jumbled post.

This month has been a bit of a whirlwind with the planning of your birthday to the cancellation of your birthday party due to mama's car breaking down. I hated having to do that but we need a car so that I can take you to daycare and go to work....to pay for daycare. Thankfully we were still able to honor your first year of life with a small gathering with Nana Patty and some family.

Anyway, I could create a list of all the things we've been up to this month but this month is about YOU! Y-O-U!!!

I've had a lot of fun coming up with little notes for you and I will one day print everything, create and give a little book to you.

Then when I think about creating that book or the day that I would I think about you grown up. Maybe it will be created for you when you graduate or as soon as when you're old enough to read. Either way I enjoy fantasizing about your future - the kind of man you'll grow up to be and the things that you'll do. For example, perhaps you'll be the sweetest and most sensitive man who can make a crowd laugh with your wit and be the best doctor, lawyer, or sustainable engineer/architect.

Not that I'm setting out a plan for you on what you'll do or what kind of person you'll be - I can only hope to be your guide to a happy and fulfilled life.

Though I can only be a guide for you I imagine that if I do things correctly that you'll grow up a very loving and strong individual. The kind of person who can make a person's day better with just a smile because your smile is contagious. I mean you do smile with your mouth wide open and dimples in full form. You have the cutest dimples.

Or perhaps you'll be the kind of person who will know that a heart-felt hug can go a long way into making someone feel loved. Because, baby, you give the best hugs and are the best little snuggler in the universe.

Or your laugh will be sufficient to keep all of the homes in the world lit and warm because it's one infectious little laugh. Your laugh fills my heart with happy vibrations. It makes other people laugh. Sometimes I think you laugh just to laugh because everything will be quiet in a room and then you'll just laugh. Ha ha ha! Giggle, giggle, giggle. I love it.

Whatever it is that you will do in the future I'm sure you'll do it with purpose. You usually only do something with purpose and are pretty persistent - even when you get frusturated you still keep trying.

Though it's great to think about your future I am focused on us now - on you. You are and always will be my main focus. You are my world - I know many moms say it and they all mean it but you are kiddo. You are my center of the universe and reason for everything I do. This all sounds cheesy but ya know what - I love being cheesy when it comes to you.

Thank you for bringing more laughter, smiles, love, and most of all cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeese into my life.

I hope you had a great birthday month!

I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be
-Robert Munsch, Love You Forever

Love,
Mama

Your lovie

Dear Bambino,

Last night I found you in the cutest and a bit scary position - wrapped up in mama's old baby blanket.

Every night I hang the blanket on the side of your crib and everynight you usually just pull it down and leave it.

But last night you somehow pulled down the blanket and wrapped yourself in it like a pig in a blanket. It was sweet, my baby blanket was comforting you and keeping you warm while you slept.

Except I ruined it for you because I was paranoid that you'd wrap yourself up too much to the point that you wouldn't be able to breathe so I unwrapped you. You weren't too happy but I was swift and as soon as I finished I ran out the door before you could even really whine. You did a faint whimper and that was that.

After a few minutes I came back and stared at you while you slept - this is one of my favorite things to do. You were still underneath my old baby blanket dreaming away. It was a very sweet sight.

Then this morning you woke up with the blanket in your hand as you called out for me.

That blanket is no longer mine - it's obviously your new lovie.

I couldn't be more honored.

Love,
Mama

***Picture to come later - I was too busy admiring my baby to remember to photograph him with his lovie.***

Birthday Month Closing

Dear Bambino,

As your birthday month comes to an end I still reminisce and jump at your brilliant milestone. I don't know if you'll ever realize how happy I am that we've made it this far together - that I've committed my all to you for a whole year. Or that I've been special enough to witness all of your great achievements. And especially to receive such love from you everyday.

All this cheesy thinking can make a mama melt and glee.

I hope I do the same for you. I'm always hoping that you feel all the love that I have for you and that you feel that I'm doing a good job being your mommy.

I know we had some pretty tough times like those first nights back but I blame ill preparedness. You cried and screamed and I did the same back. It was hard to not feel alone the first night out of the hospital. The nurses pampered us so well and the sterilization of the hospital was heaven that being back at home in our little cottage was pure shock factor. But we made it. I knew I loved you and did nothing but stare at you but those times when you cried I felt like such a failure. I wanted to be the ultimate super mommy that didn't have a baby who cried.

But that isn't reality.

You still cry sometimes and are easily frustrated but we get through it with some encouraging words and lots of hugs & kisses. Goodness how you love a good snuggle - please don't change that...I beg you!

Anyway onto the other stuff.

We walk every morning to the car and Aunty Rose's house. You love walking. Sometimes you take a few steps on your own but you get excited a lot and end up face planting - which doesn't phase you at all. In fact, it makes you want to try again. I love how far you've come from having been constantly carried to the independent walker you're becoming.

You're eating so much better with me than you used to. Before you only liked to drink milk with me and only ate foods with Aunty Rose. But now that you're a big boy; a one-year-old you eat the big boy food all - the - time. I love that you have a healthy appetite.

We went cold turkey on your pacifier as soon as your birthday arrived. It seems as though you weren't as dependent on it as I thought you were - THANK GOODNESS! We've set up an actual bedtime routine to help with that of course. Since before I used to place the pacifer in your mouth and off to la-la land you went. Now we actually eat, bathe, drink a bottle while I read to you, brush your teeth, and then in the crib you go. Monday through Saturday you woke up in the middle of the night wanting a bottle but last night you slept the whole night through. You're growing up little man!

That's all for now. I can't believe how much you've grown inside and out little man. Next time we go hiking you probably won't want to be in the hiking carrier and want to go walking - well maybe not the next time but one day. I dread and look forward to that day.

Thanks for letting me witness to your life!

Love,

Mama

Little Virgo

Dear Bambino,

Let's have a little fun with your astrological sign - Virgo.

First let me tell you the kind of person you are to date:

• Thoughtful - You are always try to share with your mama.
• Analytical - Put a new toy in your hand and you just study it for minutes beyond minutes which is a lot for a baby.
• Cuddly - Biggest cuddle bug I know.
• Fiery - When you're mad, you're really mad.
• Sensitive - You are so loving and caring that when you feel someone has wronged you, you let them know with the most melancholy weep.
• Funny - Seriously. It's like you're a miniature comedian. You even laugh at your own "jokes."
• Do-er - Though you like to analyze you also just jump in without thought.
• Foodie - You like food and you like it to be good. If you don't like it you're nice enough to not spit it out but to do the "grossed out" face and stick out your tongue for me to grab the food you don't like.
• Independent - You like to try things out yourself and if I try to help you when you're trying to do it on your own - there will be hell to pay. I love that you're so independent.

Ok so Virgo is also known as the Virgin of the 12 zodiac signs. Not sure what that's supposed to mean but darn tootin' your a virgin. Please stay like that forever - I don't need grandchildren.

Virgos tend to be diplomatic and introverted. While I can't yet tell if you have the skills of diplomacy you are definitely NOT introverted. You LOVE people! In fact you can't stand to hang out with just me all day. No you need your peers or someone else to pay attention to. You love to be held and snuggled by other adults. You looooooooove to play with your friend Aidan from daycare and Delyla our neighbor. You love, love, LOVE your Uncle Lou and follow him wherever he goes. Baby, you love people.

It is also said that Virgos tend to be cautious and choosy. You are a bit cautious but wreckless at the same time. It depends on the activity. If it deals with going outside and slamming the screen door then you're all over it without thought. If it deals with a new food then you like to play with it and stare before you put it in your mouth.

Another alleged Virgo trait is frugality and reliability. We can't tell that yet but I can pretty much rely on the fact that you will go to bed by 7: 30 pm unless if we're surrounded by people then whenever everyone is out of sight. I can rely on the fact that you will want to be hugged and kissed when you wake up in the morning. So in some respect you are showing your reliability. If you do end up being frugal then power to you! It is something that I learned when I was little but am just now putting into action. So here's hoping that you will be financially aware early on.

And finally Virgos tend to have their talents lie in science, mathematics, and/or linguistics. So that means you will either become a doctor, the next Albert Einstein or an interpreter for the UN while teaching the science of language at NYU. A mama can dream.

To sum it up in the words of astrology Virgos are hardworking, reliable, logical and highly intellectual. Though have obsessive and compulsive tendencies.

I don't put much stock into astrology. If I did then I wouldn't be friends and love the people I do if I lived by those rules. Astrology is just a fun way to analyze one's own personality.

It doesn't really matter what the stars say only what you say and do. You are such a beautiful little fella with a lot of spunk and love.

I only hope that your life is a fulfilling and happy one and to always be a part of it.

I love you,

Mama

Give unto others...

I'd like to thank everyone who sent me e-mail and left me comments wishing the Bambino a happy birthday.

Some of you were even kind of enough to ask if there was anything that you could do or get for him - even those of you who don't know the Bambino.........WOW!

While I am grateful that "strangers" would be so gracious as to want to give the Bambino a gift I would have to say that a different kind of gift would be even more appreciated.

I am a huge supporter of non-profit organizations & charities and also try to spread the word about the ones I truly believe in. I'd also like to deed that trait to the Bambino - if at all possible.

So if you'd really like to give a memorable and meaningful gift then please donate to any of the following organizations in the Bambino's name (not sure what his name is then click HERE):

• Future Leaders of Rwanda - I am a huge supporter of education and realize that here in the States we are so blessed to have a public education system - albeit it is sometimes not the best but we have one nonetheless. Not all countries have this privilege. In Rwanda schools normally do not go beyond the 9th grade. My friend Alanna and her colleauges are working together to build a school for the children of Rwanda - the future leaders of Rwanda.
• Donate Life - If some of you don't know why I am a huge supporter of organ donation then click HERE. Organ donation has been a part of my life since my dad's heart transplant in 2004. If it weren't for organ donors I know that I wouldn't have the chance to argue with my dad anymore and dammit do I love to jest with my dad. It has also given the Bambino a chance to get to know both of his grandparents and that is something special in itself.
• Women's Commission for Refugee Women & Children - Everyday I tell myself that I am lucky even considering my current circumstances. I know this because I am not fleeing from my war-ridden country. I have not been torn apart from my children. I have not been thrown into slavery. I do not have to sleep at a camp worrying if my family is ok. I am here with my son and the knowledge that my family is safe. Not everyone has this sense of security. That is why this organization fights for the rights of those who do not have the comforts that we U.S. citizens do. That is why I am a big supporter of this mission.
• International Catholic Migration Commission - I'll let my friend Alanna explain: We are doing a ton of work with displaced Iraqi families and kids, including through remedial and catch-up education programmes to get the kids back in school again and, last year, 60% of all Iraqi families that were permanently resettled to the US passed through our programmes, which include medical screenings and care, legal support, cultural orientation for the US and English language classes.
  We also do a lot of work in Pakistan with children (in partnership with UNICEF) and in Asia, mostly with victims of human trafficking and gender-based violence.
• Cradles to Crayons - Fortunately the Bambino has me and our family to provide him with love, food, milk, diapers, clothes, a home, etc. Unfortunately not all children do - please help stop this. This is a wonderful organization that provides clothes, toys, school supplies, etc. for children 0-12 years.
• Friends of Maddie - I read Heather Spohr's blog everyday and everyday I am thankful to still have the Bambino in my present and physical life; that I can hug and kiss him everyday. My heart goes out to the Spohr family and I jump for joy for their "coming soon" daughter, Binky. Friends of Maddie was created after the Spohr's first daughter, Madeline, passed away this April. It is an organization that supports families with critically ill babies in the NICU - something they wish they had had when their Maddie was sick. A related foundation is The Liz Logelin Foundation - founded by her husband Matt Logelin. I suggest you check out that organization as well.

Those are the organizations that I'm hoping can reach their financial aid goals because they do so much for people in need. If you do not feel inclined to support the listed charities then we are huge supporters of foundations dealing with women & children, education, music, art, and families in need.

Thank you for your support folks!

Always,

Restless Mama & the Bambino

Opening Ceremony

Dear Bambino,

Below is a clip of you trying to open the gifts you received from Popi & Tutu.

We pretty muched opened all of your gifts in this fashion; I did a little tear and pulled the wrapping paper until it was all off.

Good fun really.

You made out like a bandit with your presents from the G-pa & G-ma.

Love you,
Mama



For the interneters viewing this - TURN DOWN THE VOLUME!!! Annoying mommy voice has returned - my semi-apologies for this.

Bambino & Cup Cake

Dear Bambino,

Yesterday, the day after your FIRST! birthday, I gave you your first cup cake as soon as we got home. Seriously. I took your high chair outside, plopped you in it, grabbed a cup cake and placed in front of you.

And this is what happened:

You gave it a little tap and got some frosting on your hands. Thought about going in for another reach.

Here you are going in for another touch of the cup cake.

Hmmm....not too bad. A little different. A little weird but not bad.

The smoosh test - do I like it? Do I not? Let's smoosh it on my palm and see.

Hmmm....now it's on my fingers. How do I get it off?

Oh! That's how. Mmmmm...this is a bit tasty.

Seriously, what is this stuff? It's sweet, delicious, flaky, and gooey all at the same time!

Whatever it is I like it!

How about another bite? See if I can get some on my face this time.

Yeah, I look a little like I've been working in the coal mine....

What's this lady doin' taking my photo space? This is a baby only zone woman!

Great now she's trying to like the yummy stuff off my face.

Now it's my turn. I'm going to eat her face!! Rawrrrrrrrr!!!

Well, maybe I'll share some with her. She looks hungry.

Nah...I'll just eat this big chunk of whatever - she doesn't need this I figure. Though...she is eyein' it pretty bad. Nope, not sharing. This is MINE! Hmmm...I think I'll share some with her camera lens.

It sure did look like you were having a good time with the cup cake. Sorry we did your cake so late on your birthday - next time we'll definitely sing happy birthday! and let you eat your cake earlier in the day.

Love,

Mama

Wait...did we just have a birthday?

Dear Bambino,

Your FIRST birthday in a nutshell:

We woke up at 6:00 am.

I sang Happy Birthday to you while you smiled and giggled.

Then I gave you a good birthday tickle. I love to hear you laugh.

And then I brought you out to the birthday setup - high chair with decorations from by Popi and Tutu and all of the presents that they sent you plus the one gift that I got you, and your 1st big boy breakfast which consisted of scrambeled egg yolk, turkey bacon, crescent roll, and extremely diluted guava juice.

You thought the birthday hat was a little silly and very confusing. I thought you wanted me to take it off of you but you freaked out when I did. So I put it back on you for you to play with.

After I put it back on you. Look at all those gifts you got form Popi & Tutu!!

Yay! for silly birthday hats! Your first big boy breakfast. You couldn't care less for the scrambeled eggs but you LOVED the crescent roll and turkey bacon.

Yum yum breakfast!

What you REALLY loved was the guava juice - even though it was totally watered down. You couldn't get enough of it. You also got a kick out of your new big boy cup with a straw.

You made out like a bandit with presents from Tutu & Popi. You got a Peter Rabbit book, Peter Rabbit doll, Baby Seal doll from Alaska, a little wooden puppet from Italy, books & a toy car from Harrods in London, some fun beach clothes, a toy football (that you took a big chunk out of while I cooked you breakfast), and the best gift of all (in my eyes at least) a college fund. WOW! They really, really love you Bambino.The loot.

This framed poster was my gift to you. I didn't want to get you toys because I can get those for you any day. No books because you've plenty of books and again...I can get those any time for you. I searched and searched for the perfect gift - something sentimental but not overdone. Then I found this. The lady who worked with me on it was so patient and enthusiastic about this poster. I love it. I never got to do a proper birth announcement for you so this is it. The cute and sweet details of your birth in a frame.

After the excitement of singing happy birthday!, eating your first big boy breakfast, opening presents, eating presents, and cleaning up - we just hung out for a bit. You played around with some of your new toys but you also did your usual hang out routine - which meant following mama around the house. I had just set up the present to photograph them when you decided to pop your cute little one-year-old head up to be photographed! You really love the camera.

Then Aunty Amber & your girl friend Delyla stopped by to drop off a present for you. Here you are reading the card. You really had fun with this card and enjoyed the taste of it. You chew on the funninest things little one.

After that we all went for a walk. We stopped by Starbucks and here you are reading the New York Times - just like your mama does.

After some lunch and napping it was time to head out to Nana Patty's house for the BBQ she was putting together for you. Here are the beautiful cupcakes that she made for you.

I just fell in love with the look of these cupcakes. Aren't they cute? All for you my love.

Mmmmmmmmm...cupcakes! Little did I know later that night after we sand Happy Birthday! to you that would have nothing to do with them. You were so tired by the time we got to the good stuff. So sorry my love.

Us. That lei is really for you but since it was too long mama wore it for you. I wish this weren't so blurry but the memory of yesterday never will be.

You played with your friends; Delyla, Kaira, & Kiani. They all love you so much. They did nothing but give you kisses and hugs. Unfortunately for them you were more entralled with the ball or other toys to be concerned about hugs and kisses. Though I'm sure deep down inside you felt the love and totally appreciated it.

You also did some things on your own. You looooooooooooove this toy. It makes lots of sounds and music. Perfect for your party theme. Anyway I love to watch you play because have such focus when you take on a task.

You look very innocent and sweet in this photo.

The beautifully decorated lanai that your Nana Patty, Aunty Kim, and Kiani did for you. I wish I had taken photos of them for you to see. We did get some good video footage so I'll share that later.

Flying vinyl.

Music pop!

The spread. Us again. I thought I'd throw in one more photo of us. It was such a special day. You were so great even with all of the new stimuli that you were exposed to - you were such a trooper. We didn't get a chance to get some cake smothered all over your face but you seemed to enjoy the sweetness of the frosting. You were too excited to eat any food but you still ate a bit.

It was a great birthday relaxed but full of love and family.

You probably won't remember but I hope that you had a blast and liked your special day.

You are so special my little love.

Thank you for being born my little Bambino!

Love,

Mama

Thank you to everyone who sent their happy birthday wishes to the Bambino. Special thanks to Nana Patty, Uncle Roy, Uncle Lou, Aunty Kim, Uncle Tony, Kiani, Kaira, Aunty Amber, Delyla, Aunty Megs, and Popi & Tutu for sharing such palpable love yesterday.

And the winner is.........

Becomingsarahcom!!!

Congratulations Sarah!

Thank you very much for those of you who entered. If you didn't win something this time no worries - I've got something else I'm reviewing that will be up for grabs next week. BUT in no way shall this blog be all about the giveaways - I'll still keep it sappy, corny, and sometimes funny?

Fun details about the Bambino's birthday shall follow later on today.

Cheers and thanks again!

-Restless Mama

Dear Bambino...

It's your birthday! We're out celebrating...so I'll leave you with this for now...my birthday present to you.

Love, Mama

Labor Day

Dear Bambino,

On September 19, 2008 I had my last prenatal doctor's appointment. It was a normal day really.

I hopped on the commuter rail from Salem to Boston.

Walked to the Massachusetts General Hospital.

Took the elevator to the fourth floor.

Did the usual check up, blood pressure, weight, cervical exam.

I was told that I was still 4 cm dilated and 75% effaced.

But when the nurse took my blood pressure she noticed that it was high - 130/90. Which was unusual to my regular 120/80 or 115/65.

Though I had my high blood pressure the doctor just told me to go home and rest - after she had shoved her whole upper part of her body up my va-jay-jay.....she popped the cervical blah blah blah (I can't remember) in the hopes of getting some contractions started since I was one day past my due date and had the high blood pressure.

After the doctor's appointment I stopped by my the ole TBG office to check in on the peeps. Did a little recruiting help. Then went back home.

I turned on Friends and took a nap. This was around noon.

Three hours later I got a call from the MGH nurse.

I was to come in to get monitored for my blood pressure but was most likely going to go home unless I started natural labor.

Your Aunty Liz & Uncle Adrien took me to the city with the bags that I had packed...just in case this was the BIG day. I called your Poppie & Tutu, Aunty Megs & Brooke, Uncle Paul to tell them that I MIGHT be going into later that night.

None of us thought I would.

We were wrong.

When I arrived at the hospital and monitored for a bit I was told that I had preeclampsia and that I would have to be induced.

I wasn't too happy about this news because I wanted you to come out on your own time without any kind of interventions BUT...

if induction hadn't happened....we might not be here today.

So! At 8:00 pm on September 18, 2008 I was induced into labor. To give birth to you my love.

Like most expecting mothers we all hope that the labor is quick and as painless as possible. Most moms get to walk around while they're having their contractions.

Not this mama. Since I had the high blood pressure I had to be put on magnesium which meant that I wouldn't have the strength to walk around.

This is not what I had planned. I wanted to do everything natural so that you wouldn't be harmed in any way. I wanted to walk around and squat when I had my contractions. I wanted to birth like the women of the fields before the industrial revolution. A pioneer birther. Natural birther.

But life had different plans than I.

Around 5am my water broke. It was an amazing sensation! I felt some relief from all the pressure that I had been feeling the past two months of the pregnancy.

I was excited - you were ready to come out into the world. I thought you'd definitely be out and I'd be holding and staring at you by at the lastest 8am.

Nope. Instead the contractions decided to kick mama up the corn hole and debilitate her even more.

That's when I asked for the epidural....actually it took me a a few hours to decide whether or not if I wanted to do it because I wanted to give birth to you naturally but the contractions were unbearable. But your Aunty Liz reassured me that as long as you came out healthy and mama was still living - then isn't that what really mattered?

So with some tears the doctors gave me the epidural.

This made mama really sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy. So Mr. Sandman came to pay her a visit for a couple of hours.

It was 10 am when mama woke up and Aunty Liz & Uncle Adrien had to leave - your aunty had to go to work. Mama was sad to see her sister leave but she knew that your Aunty Collette would comfort her.

Unfortunately mama was on her own for about three hours since parking was impossible in the city on a Saturday - which made it near impossible for your Aunty Collette and cousin Erin to make it to the hospital.

Three hours later and mama's gettin' hit with the real stuff - the stuff that makes her want to squeeze, push, birth! It was time for you to come out into the world. Thankfully Aunty Collette & Erin made it just in time to help me push.

While Erin sat behind the curtains cheering on your mama and you - I pushed. Your Aunty Collette praised and encouraged - looked out the window and held my hand.

I asked them to be quiet.

I pushed. And pushed. While the nurse told me to push harder and to keep my breaths in a continuous beat. To not give up. That you were almost out she could feel your head getting closer.

Well I could feel you a lot better than the nurse but I got tired. Breathing and pushing is though work - the toughest actually. I think I made my ugly face while I pushed.

Anyway -I had hoped to have a quick pushing session - maybe 20 minutes tops. I just wanted to hold you that badly. BUT my body would have it otherwise.

I pushed for an hour wish isn't long really but it felt like a long time.

It was freaking tiresome - more so than a weekend full of playing nonstop soccer. Than shoveling dirt.

But as soon as you were out I felt such an instant relief. You were out.

I saw your head - you looked slimy and purple lined with white.

Your Aunty Collette and I momentarily debated whether or not if you were a white or brown baby.

Then your Aunty Collette followed you and the doctors. They washed you off, weighed you, and did all of the good stuff to make sure you were a healthy baby boy.

And then....

you were in my arms and I said, Oh my god! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

And you looked at me - right at me. Those big beautiful brown eyes of yours looked right into my heart.

I was hooked. I am hooked. It was then that I became yours.

I am forever yours.

Love,
Mama

The Due Date

Dear Bambino,

The day I found out I that I was going to be growing a little person inside of me I was told that the they would be shooting out of me on September 18, 2008.

That's a year ago from today.

A year ago from today I had been on maternity leave for 2 weeks and lazying around the cottage waiting for some contractions. Since I wasn't feeling any cramping I decided to go walking around Salem to see if I could get some movement from you because I really didn't feel like going any longer with you inside of me. I did squats. Ordered the spiciest foods on the Thai menu. I even asked you nicely to please get ready to squeeze out -

it's been almost 10 months man....times a wastin'....there's so much to see! C'mon I know you want to see what's out here....Please? I'm already 4 cm dilated and 70% effaced...Mama's ready!!! You're ready! Please? Plllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

Five mintues later.....

How about now? Are you ready now? I see you moving in there! I mean you're already smashing my bladder to bits and I can FEEL your head touching my cervix! Seriously...it's time to get out. Get out. Get out. Get ooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuT! Wait nevermind - mama has to go pee...don't want you shootin' into a toilet...

I secretly wished that my water would POP! and then we'd be rarin' to go. But no.

I mean even your Aunty Liz and best friend came over to spend the night just to be there when my water did break. It didn't. You stayed put.

Sure you were cozy in there and I didn't know what was to come (sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, etc.) but I was ready for you to pop out. Come out into the world tap dancing. Or reciting Dickens. Whatever....you needed to get out.

BUT that wasn't happening. You were just chilling and having a good time inside the womb - which is also a nice thought. I made it comfortable enough for you to want to stay where you were, even though were all curled up into some kind of ball without an inch to move. You just squirmed. In fact, have I told you that was your nickname when you were just a fetus?

Yep, your Aunty Sugar Plum and Aunty Boo boo Bear called you Squirms. I loved it and I think you did too because every time they talked to you while inside of mama - you squirmed. As if you were trying to talk back to them.

Anyway, a year ago today is when you were, according to the doctor's calculations, supposed to shoot out into the world but you decided to stay. It would've been a good day to have been born according to Chinese superstition - to have the number 8 in your birthday is good luck. Something to do with how it resemebles the sign of infinite.

It was a Thursday.

Thursday's not a bad day to be born but a Saturday is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better!

We're almost there my love.

Just two more days until you're the big O-N-E.

I'm just so excited. Are you excited? This morning while changing your diaper I told you that you were going to be one in a couple of days. What did you do?

You gave me the Give me something to hold onto and play with while you change my stinky diaper woman! But of course with cute baby eyes and baby smile.

You're not going to be a baby anymore. You're going to be a Toddler. You even took some more steps last night.

Would you please get back inside the womb?

Love,
Mama

Hey there Delyla...

Dear Bambino,

You have a friend...a girl friend....but notice! that I didn't use girlfriend but girl friend.

Her name is Delyla (prounounced like Delilah from the Bible - but we don't think of that name as a bad thing). She is 3 months older than you. At times you like each other - get along famously and other times you can't stand each other.

Pretty basic friendship stuff.

Though Delyla is older, bigger, and sometimes takes the toys out of your hands (which is followed by massive yet consolible tears) she loves you and you love her. She loves to try to give you hugs and kisses while you either look at her like she's crazy or you laugh...typical boy response to when a gal tries to show affection *wink* Actually you love hugs and kisses.

I love that you have a great friend in a girl and that you two can play together so well - giving your mommies some time to talk or play Scrabble.

Sometimes you play together and sometimes you do your own thing but in the same room. Delyla will go through her books and you'll be banging on the wall with one of her toys. It's so cute to see how you two actively interact and don't passively interact.

So to sum it up - it's just so much fun to watch the two of you babies.

Though you're both ready to toddle - so I guess it's fun to watch you two toddlers.

I think I just dropped a tear with that word. Toddler.

You're going to be ONE. O-N-E.

Stop growing....now! Or not - whatever you choose....just as long as we can still snuggle or I can steal a hug here and there when you're taller than me.

Anyway, here's to you and Delyla - great friends!

Love,

Mama

GIVEAWAY: TrulySanctuary Apparel

For those who read this blog regularly you know that I had been planning on a Music Themed 1st Birthday Party for the Bambino. Everything from the CD party favors to his outfit. The sad news is that I will not be able to throw him the party due to my car breaking down and it costing $$$$$$$$$$$. My heart breaks but a mama must do what she can. No worries though we're still celebrating with just our close family here on Hawai'i - so Bambino you're birth will still be honored and celebrated....just not the way mama had planned.

But there is good news folks - the folks who made the Bambino's birthday outfit (picture of him in it to come later....I have a weird superstition about putting him in anything birthday related BEFORE his birthday) agreed to do a GIVEAWAY with me so that ONE of you lucky folks could enjoy the greatness that is their designs!

Let me tell you a few things about them first:

• I found them on Etsy
• They design some great apparel with cute political figures to old school stereo systems on their clothes - funky but still baby friendly designs
• They're funny folks
• Very reasonably priced so after the lucky winner gets a free item from their shop - they should go back and BUY!!!! Because their stuff is that cool!
• Family owned and operated - I'm all about supporting the Ma & Pa businesses
• An absolute delight to work with. While trying to figure out what I wanted to put on the Bambino's onesie they cheered me on and offered some really great suggestions. PLUS - they're really down to earth.
• Efficient, efficient, efficient - As soon as I decided on what exactly I wanted (which took me two weeks...very picky), I had the onesie in my hands within 2 days. That's from Florida to Hawai'i folks. DANG! If that isn't efficient I don't know what is.
• QUALITY! The onesie is soft and I've already pre-washed it and the design is still on it. Top notch stuff people.

So to the GIVEAWAY - ONE lucky person will win ONE FREE item from their shop excluding their ponchos.

How to win?

Leave me a comment below. Extra entry if you leave me a comment telling me the family's inspiration behind their designs.

The giveaway starts today, September 16 and goes until this Sunday, September 20 (the Bambino's birthday). Winners will be announced on Monday, September 21st. Winner chosen at random.

Read below for the inspiration behind TrulySanctuary:

We are Ron and Bethany Remsberg…TrulySanctuary is run out of our home currently in Lakeland Florida. We came up with the concept over a year ago on July, 4th 2008. Ron had been going to school full-time while slinging coffee to make ends meet. Along with the arrival of our daughter Truly Louise, this was becoming a busy first year of marriage.

The 4th of July rolled around (Our first major holiday as a family) and because of Ron’s busy schedule he was going to miss out on the festivities. When he left for work that day it was clear he was extremely down. I had to think of something not just to cheer him up, but to let him know we were thinking about him and proud of what he was doing for our family. A silly picture of Ron wearing a fake mustache and a bandana on his head in an Aunt Jemima fashion instantly came to mind and I knew what I had to do. I went to the store and along with a cheap package of fireworks and a couple of beers; I bought the supplies I needed to carry out my cheer up daddy plan.


That night Ron was greeted by his 3 month old daughter wearing a onesie with that silly picture of him right on the front. He instantly felt great…it was personal; it made him laugh and feel loved! That night we couldn’t stop thinking of the different onesies we wanted to make for our daughter, then for our friend’s kids…it didn’t take long to realize that we were on to something.


Of course we’ve come a long way from that first silly onesie made on our bathroom counter with my mother-in- law’s iron and some store bought transfer paper. We now offer a gorgeous top of the line product fit for any baby boutique. ..Any baby! Our goal has not only been quality, but to continuously provide a new stream of the most unique, fun and quirky baby and toddler clothes out on the market.


Our daughter Truly (our company’s namesake) is now 16 months old and our second daughter Normandy Mae is 3 months old…life continues to get busier, but fuller as our family and company, TrulySanctuary, grow.


Thank you,


Bethany, Ron, Truly Lu and Normandy Mae
TrulySanctuary


***Ron & Bethany did not ask me to do this giveaway for them - I asked them and they were kind enough to agree. So this is really a non-sponsored blog post. I just love their designs and attitude that much.***

One Huge Lesson

Dear Bambino,

Your mama has learned a very valuable and tough lesson this past weekend.

Though we have a wonderful and loving network of family and friends - we cannot always rely on others.  Not that they won't be there for us in a time(s) of need(s) but we shouldn't only rely on them.  We need to stand up and take matters into our own hands.  Because (and mommy hates these kind of questions) What if?  What if they aren't able to?  What if we're down so deep that it's really only going to be up to us to get ourselves out that hole?  What if?

I now know that I have to take that question into real consideration. 

So even though mama has been trying to think of ways to make things better for us it's time for me to try harder and be innovative in my thinking and doing.  And that's just it too, my love, I have to DO.  No more wanting, wishing, or hoping - though never give up hope - it's time to DO and to FIND a way.  More concrete answers and results rather than abstract.

I'm hoping with this lesson that I've learned that I will be able to pass on this lesson to you and live it for you because I do not ever want you to feel despair, even though one day you might and I don't want you to feel as though you cannot do things on your own.  I'm going to make it so that you are a DO-er and not just a thinker - though thinking is so very, very important.  I'm going to show you that actions speak so much louder than words - in fact actions are like a sonic boom and words are just a tiny spurt. 

You can depend on me and those who love us but man am I going to raise you to be one independent fella so that you never have to go through what I've been.

Love,
Mama

An Oldie but Goodie

Dear Bambino,

Mama's been a little crazy and busy but I wanted to still honor your birthday month so I leave you with an old post I had written from before you were born - with a few comments beside them.


10 things I'm looking forward to becoming a mama (we'll start with #10 and work our way up):

10. Breastfeeding/ providing nourishment for someone I love. It's exciting to think that a woman's body is built to provide such a wonderful gift such as nourishment for another life (while it's in and out of her body). I also look forward to the bonding time of breastfeeding.  This ended up being my favorite thing to do for you because I really just felt like all of me was being given to you.

9. Bath time - water has always played a huge role in my life (from taking a shower (calming me) to kayaking on a stormy day (exciting me)); I like to think that it comes from my Hawaiian background. I'm excited to show him how much fun he can have in the water and also when he's older teach him the importance of water.  You really like bath time - especially now that you have the WHOLE tub for yourself.

8. Reading to him. This is something I've sort of already started. When I received some of the books from the baby shower I read them to him and it felt like he was responding to the stories (especially The Giving Tree). I remember my dad used to read to me when he tucked me into bed, that's a memory I cherish always and would like to continue that tradition. It's a time to help him relax and expand his mind, from the womb until he says, "Mom, I can tuck myself into bed now."  You could really care less about me reading to you - you'd rather devour the words yourself....literally.  You open your mouth wide open and just plant it on the book.  You're funny baby!

7. Going for walks. Walking is my favorite activity EVER! It's something I do wherever I go and in whatever mood I'm in. It's what helped me lose weight in Norway and what helps me stay in shape for the baby's delivery. It's also a time for thinking or making wishes. One particular walk with my best friend Megan resulted in one of my wishes coming true - my dad's heart transplant. I'm excited to walk him in his carrier, stroller, him holding my hand, to walking side by side, showing him the beauty of the world and that there's still beauty in the "ugly".  You love going for walks with mama and you'll be walking soon.  I'm so excited for when we get to hold hands during our walks or see you chase birds or dogs. 

6. The "uh-oh" moments: wetting his bed, falling off his bike, accidentally or purposefully breaking something, not getting a good grade on a test, etc. I'm excited to teach him that it's ok to make mistakes as long as he learns from them, even if he has to learn from them twice. As Dory the fish would say, "Just keep swimming."  We've had a few of these and everytime I scoop you up - you stop crying.  I love that I'm able to help you feel better; soothe you.

5. The "Aha!" moments: walking, learning how to use the toilet, riding a bike, driving a car, finding out what being in love is, and the list goes on. Hopefully, I'll be able to catch them on camera.  Goodness my love you've reached so many milestones in such a short amount of time - I'm so excited for you and proud of you.

4. Teaching him the importance of family and that family is what you make it. It's important to understand that he will have so much love from his family: grandma & grandpa, aunts & uncles, the extensive list of cousins, and my friends. I want him to understand that family isn't always about blood (though it is fun to know your ethnic background) but the natural ability to love someone unconditionally - those who you're able to do that with are your family.  You have such a big family and with a big family comes BIG LOVE.  You are so blessed.

3. Fixing his "boo boos": letting him know that I will always be there no matter what. I will kiss his scrapes even if they're on his bum (of course until he's of a certain age) and clean and bandage them. I want him to know that there's always someone to pick him up when he falls, especially me.  Again, I just put you in my arms and the world is a better place for you.

2. Snuggle time. I'm so excited to finally hold him and kiss him. I'll be excited for those nights when he can't sleep on his own and needs the warmth of his mommy's body to help him sleep. Even now I cradle my belly and tell him I love him, to his first breath in this world I will hold him, even when I'm not longer physically present on this earth hold him I will still cradle him with my love.  You are the biggest snuggle bug EVER and I love it.

1. Saying "I love you" everyday. Need I say more?  Every chance I get I tell you that I love you.
 
I love you very, very much.
 
Love,
Mama

HAPPY GRANDPARENTS DAY!!!!

Dear Bambino,

Without a doubt you are one very loved little man but there are two people who probably love you just as much as mama does. Who are those people?

Your Poppie & Tutu.

When mama flew to tell your grandparents the big news she got two expected responses. Your Tutu's immediate response was a smile - how special is that? The moment that your Tutu found out that she was going to be a grandma - she just smiled. Wide-eyed and all. Your Poppie's reaction, though not overjoyed, was expected as well but know this little one: he only reacts with worry because he loves us that much! But guess what Bambino - your Poppie is an old softy and is obsessed with finding the next great thing for you and does nothing but give your mama advice on how to be a good parent; i.e. how to provide.

Your Tutu & Poppie are so important to mama. They brought your mama into their lives purely by choice - they adopted me. They have provided mama with a great life; visits to the zoo, picnics by the sea, paying for soccer & college, and love, love, love. Sometimes they're tough but it's tough love, it's their generation, and how they were raised.

Tutu grew up in Hawai'i on the island of Oahu - she has eight...read 8 siblings and she's the baby of the family. That means we have a VERY big family and still haven't met ALL of them. Perhaps a family reunion is in order? When mama was little your Tutu was visiting her niece (mama's biological mother) Patty who know as Nana Patty or just Nana. Tutu saw me with Nana and jokingly said that she'd take me. Well a year later I was on a plane to your Tutu to be her daughter...I still remember seeing her when we arrived in San Diego. Growing up your Tutu and mama had some tough times but we also had some great times. Tutu was always present for mama's big events like her spelling bee or last minute presentation preparation to soccer games. But mama was a bit of a daddy's girl so she wasn't able to apprecaite your Tutu until she left the nest. Though mama is still a bit of a daddy's girl - she needs your Tutu more than anyone else, she is her rock and blanket wrapped in one being - I mean Tutu CHOSE your mama...how lovely is that? Tutu also taught mama the importance of family - which she has really learned from living in Boston and here in Hawai'i. She loves you so much Bambino - so much so that she just may burst when she sees you again. I'm hoping we can get home soon so that the two of you can become best friends - which I have no doubt will happen.

Poppie suffers from the eldest child (of 5, 1 brother & 3 sisters) syndrome which means he's extremely organized and bossy, symptoms he also acquired from being in the Navy. He's a tough old goat but he's got so much love; seriously he's an ooey gooey softy on the inside. He can scold better than any drill seargant but he'll hug you in a split second if he sees that you're in distress. Mama loooooooooooooooves your Poppie and hates disappointing him - though it's just inevitable; we can't make everyone happy ALL the time. Anyway, your mama & Poppie have a lot of things in common - in fact mama enjoys saying that, "and that's how I take after my dad!" We both have a love passion for travel and learning about new cultures. We love languages though mama's a bit better at them *wink* We love good food, no gourmet food, food with flavor and zest, food that we can tell that someone put a whole lot of lovin' into makin' it. And food from a diner. We love learning about new things. We want to help, ALL THE TIME but Poppie's a little better at doing that than mama is right now. We like looking good and Poppie sure can look dapper at times. To summarize your Poppie has put culture into your mama's life and she is forever thankful for that. I hope that you will be more open minded than mama was when Poppie tells you about what he's experienced and tries to show you the world. That's all that Poppie wants to do is love and show people the world. Oh and your Poppie is happier than he looks in that photo - his cousin John Scott just snapped the photo at an awkward moment. Poppie loves you so much that he made a comparison chart of the two of you when you were born...that's love right there.

So that's your Poppie & Tutu my little love.

And now I leave you with a great photo of them when they were....younger....

Love,

Mama