September 20, 2009

Labor Day

Dear Bambino,

On September 19, 2008 I had my last prenatal doctor's appointment. It was a normal day really.

I hopped on the commuter rail from Salem to Boston.

Walked to the Massachusetts General Hospital.

Took the elevator to the fourth floor.

Did the usual check up, blood pressure, weight, cervical exam.

I was told that I was still 4 cm dilated and 75% effaced.

But when the nurse took my blood pressure she noticed that it was high - 130/90. Which was unusual to my regular 120/80 or 115/65.

Though I had my high blood pressure the doctor just told me to go home and rest - after she had shoved her whole upper part of her body up my va-jay-jay.....she popped the cervical blah blah blah (I can't remember) in the hopes of getting some contractions started since I was one day past my due date and had the high blood pressure.

After the doctor's appointment I stopped by my the ole TBG office to check in on the peeps. Did a little recruiting help. Then went back home.

I turned on Friends and took a nap. This was around noon.

Three hours later I got a call from the MGH nurse.

I was to come in to get monitored for my blood pressure but was most likely going to go home unless I started natural labor.

Your Aunty Liz & Uncle Adrien took me to the city with the bags that I had packed...just in case this was the BIG day. I called your Poppie & Tutu, Aunty Megs & Brooke, Uncle Paul to tell them that I MIGHT be going into later that night.

None of us thought I would.

We were wrong.

When I arrived at the hospital and monitored for a bit I was told that I had preeclampsia and that I would have to be induced.

I wasn't too happy about this news because I wanted you to come out on your own time without any kind of interventions BUT...

if induction hadn't happened....we might not be here today.

So! At 8:00 pm on September 18, 2008 I was induced into labor. To give birth to you my love.

Like most expecting mothers we all hope that the labor is quick and as painless as possible. Most moms get to walk around while they're having their contractions.

Not this mama. Since I had the high blood pressure I had to be put on magnesium which meant that I wouldn't have the strength to walk around.

This is not what I had planned. I wanted to do everything natural so that you wouldn't be harmed in any way. I wanted to walk around and squat when I had my contractions. I wanted to birth like the women of the fields before the industrial revolution. A pioneer birther. Natural birther.

But life had different plans than I.

Around 5am my water broke. It was an amazing sensation! I felt some relief from all the pressure that I had been feeling the past two months of the pregnancy.

I was excited - you were ready to come out into the world. I thought you'd definitely be out and I'd be holding and staring at you by at the lastest 8am.

Nope. Instead the contractions decided to kick mama up the corn hole and debilitate her even more.

That's when I asked for the epidural....actually it took me a a few hours to decide whether or not if I wanted to do it because I wanted to give birth to you naturally but the contractions were unbearable. But your Aunty Liz reassured me that as long as you came out healthy and mama was still living - then isn't that what really mattered?

So with some tears the doctors gave me the epidural.

This made mama really sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy. So Mr. Sandman came to pay her a visit for a couple of hours.

It was 10 am when mama woke up and Aunty Liz & Uncle Adrien had to leave - your aunty had to go to work. Mama was sad to see her sister leave but she knew that your Aunty Collette would comfort her.

Unfortunately mama was on her own for about three hours since parking was impossible in the city on a Saturday - which made it near impossible for your Aunty Collette and cousin Erin to make it to the hospital.

Three hours later and mama's gettin' hit with the real stuff - the stuff that makes her want to squeeze, push, birth! It was time for you to come out into the world. Thankfully Aunty Collette & Erin made it just in time to help me push.

While Erin sat behind the curtains cheering on your mama and you - I pushed. Your Aunty Collette praised and encouraged - looked out the window and held my hand.

I asked them to be quiet.

I pushed. And pushed. While the nurse told me to push harder and to keep my breaths in a continuous beat. To not give up. That you were almost out she could feel your head getting closer.

Well I could feel you a lot better than the nurse but I got tired. Breathing and pushing is though work - the toughest actually. I think I made my ugly face while I pushed.

Anyway -I had hoped to have a quick pushing session - maybe 20 minutes tops. I just wanted to hold you that badly. BUT my body would have it otherwise.

I pushed for an hour wish isn't long really but it felt like a long time.

It was freaking tiresome - more so than a weekend full of playing nonstop soccer. Than shoveling dirt.

But as soon as you were out I felt such an instant relief. You were out.

I saw your head - you looked slimy and purple lined with white.

Your Aunty Collette and I momentarily debated whether or not if you were a white or brown baby.

Then your Aunty Collette followed you and the doctors. They washed you off, weighed you, and did all of the good stuff to make sure you were a healthy baby boy.

And then....

you were in my arms and I said, Oh my god! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

And you looked at me - right at me. Those big beautiful brown eyes of yours looked right into my heart.

I was hooked. I am hooked. It was then that I became yours.

I am forever yours.


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