I'm not in love, I just want to be touched.

In a few posts back I mentioned that I had been intimate with a fella. I had stated that it had been amazing and it was...the first time. It had been two years and well I'm pretty sure that after a two-year celibattical (I meant to spell it that way) sex would be pretty amazing. It was good enough that the next day I sent a text to my best friend telling her that "I had sex!" And she gave me a text high-five.

The guy was all man and I looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooved it. He took total control. He pulled me in for a kiss and I was hooked from there. He wanted to make sure I was having a good time which was a nice change from how the Mancub's father went about our intimate moments. Don't get me wrong those were great times but it was all about him. Where with this guy it was for the both of us. He even reached out for my hand afterwards - even when I pulled away right after he said, "Don't treat me like a piece of meat, Al". It was nice. He was nice.

The second time wasn't as great as the first time but it was still great. And that was it. Just twice. Which is good enough for me. I guess. But it isn't. I want more but I stopped it. My libido is back in full swing and I no longer have a mans to tone it down - just a bit. But that's what exercise is for, right? Except I'm not exercising. I'm EATING instead! Bah!

Anyway, how'd it all start? Well, we've known each other for a while...since after the Mancub's first birthday. I never thought much about him. I just thought of him as that tall guy with the long hair. But then he started flirting with me a few months back - like February? But I didn't flirt back because he had a girlfriend and well I just don't roll like that. Remember my rules? No romance with coworkers and romantically involved men, ESPECIALLY the married sort.

For some reason the past two years romantically involved men just seem to think it's OK to hit on me. That a whole other story.

Anyway, one night he was flirting through text - oh yeah that's totally lame by the way, I think that's why it took me a while to consider returning the gesture - and I decided to just go with the flow. After enjoying a few drinks with my friends that is. Why did I need some fermented help? Because I'm still carrying my baby weight and the dude is cute and has tattoos! Tattoos!!!!!!!!!! So why would fit, good looking, tattoo fella be interested in chubby single mama, me?

I sent him a text back.

Perhaps we could've gone on more but the situation was just too complicated and I don't need anymore complications in my life. He's a single dad. I'm a single mom. He's not sure what's going on with his dead end relationship (he claims that they're not together but they still live together, oh and I saw them driving together yesterday and noticed he was trying to be sneaky - that's right I saw you dude! Ugh, that makes me sound like a crazy person. It's cool I'll take the title for a moment), he's trying to figure out what he's going to do with his life and I just don't have time for that. Plus, I think he's just a bit too flaky for my taste.

I'm at a point where I'm really happy with where I am in life. I know what direction I'm headed in my career. The Mancub and I are happy as a two person family. And I'm enjoying soccer and trying to get back into shape. Although, I could stand to not eat my feelings when I'm feeling....jazzy. Anyway, I just know who I am and don't really have time for any type of bullshit.

So I stopped it. Though sometimes I wish I hadn't only because I'd like to be touched. Or maybe even snuggled by man arms. I wouldn't mind having him as a Maintenance Man but it would be nice if it were someone a bit more stable. Anyway, not my ideal way of reentering the dating world but it's still not that bad of a reintroduction into the world of dating, intimacy and sex. It was nice to be intimate with someone and have someone in my bed to talk about adult things. He was nice enough to do that too, talk afterwards. It was a nice post-coitus act, we were able to be intimate with each other after being intimate. Yeah, not too shabby of a reintroduction at all.

We'll see how the rest of the journey goes.

Happy Restlessness

Doesn't do us justice but that's how we roll really. I carry him while he wraps his little body around me. In Hawai'i we call lil' critters like that opihis (oh-pee-hee). I love that he's still a little opihi.

So you know how I had announced that we will be moving back to the Seattle area in July? And then I changed it to later in the year.

How about we say that we're enjoying our time in Hawai'i, we miss the folks we love on the mainland and that one day, some day we'll get back to the continental USA. But right now? Right now we're having a good time in Hawai'i so we'll stay for however long.

And as far as Seattle? Who knows. I'd love for it to be Seattle so the Mancub can grow up around his Popi and Tutu but LA sounds nice too. We'd move there so I can work with the team in LA. Or moving back to Boston, my city and love. Indeed, I grew up in Seattle but Boston is my city, my homie, my main lady. I know that city like the back of my hand, with all the aimless walking that I did. Although, who wants to deal with that summer humidity? Maybe Spokane where the rent is cheap, the green initiative is intense and still close enough to visit the grandparents once or twice a month.

Who knows. For all I know we could stay here on the island for another two years.

I leave it all up to the wind.

But how great is it that I'm finally happy with where I am? I hate to swear on this blog but it's fucking fabulous! Finally.

Of course I'm still restless, of course, but happy.

Happy restlessness.

The feisty Mancub and his chalk

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What I'm currently working on...

• I bought my goal dress; a size 9 (8/10). I'm hoping I can reach my goal weight and size by the end of the year. I'm also hoping that I'll be at least one size smaller by my 27th birthday.
• Senior photos for my friend's daughter. It was so much fun photographing her, she's so pretty! I'll share more after my friend picks out her photos. We shot at Kekela Beach or as Google Map says, Kuulolio Beach Park. I'd like to thank the Mormons; Sister Stringer who found my phone when I dropped it at the park, thankfully they were cleaning the park (courtesy of BYU students and wards). I seriously love Mormons! Lots of friends from my hometown are Mormons - super, super, super, sooooooooooper nice people!
• In about twenty minutes I'll be calling San Francisco and East Coast TV Networks to get some placement for WaterWorks.

Plus more but that's just a preview of what's going on over here on the island.

It's a busy day in the neighborhood.

The annoying post with random updates and tidbits

***This might be a long one.***

It's been about a month since I posted something about what's going on in the lives of the Mancub and me. So here a few bullet points (some of these points may be paragraphs - DEAL):

• I think I already shared with you all that my mama came to visit me and the Mancub in March which made me joyful and homesick - leading to me announcing that we would be moving back to Seattle in July.
  
• I'm not sure that we'll be moving back to Seattle until the end of the year now. With July quickly approaching and me not having the sufficient savings that I'd like the date just seemed to be too soon.
• The Mancub is starting to use his words!!! Which is exciting for me since I was a total freak about his speech development but like his pediatrician said - "all kids are different and development in their own time." To add he also read to me his favorite night time book, "Good Night Seattle," and by read I mean using the basic words to describe what was going on in each page. For example, "Goodnight Monorail traveling through the Experience Music Project" turns into "Nigh, nigh mo'rail!" How cute is he?!?!?!?!
• The Mancub is ALL BOY! Allllllllll boy! He throws his toys all over the living room, gets dirty in the mud, runs around in the rain, smears food on the table and his hair, bites me when he's excited, and likes to make a big splash in the bathtub. He's all boy and I'm loving it!
  
• I'm currently obsessed with The Wire courtesy of the Mancub's godfather Uncle P-Diddy.
  
• I'm also a little obsessed with listening to Nina Simone while I work.
• Speaking of work - I'm loving my new job!!!!! I was able to get a TV placement for two clients in my first month of working full time. Though I'm still trying to find the balance of working from home and lifestyle but I've always been a bit of a workaholic anyway. I guess it is expected to be worse working from home, ay?
  
• Though I love what I'm doing I do notice that I'm still not able to pay more attention to this blog as I would like BUT I'm still contributing to the social media world - just more in a PR role than a blogger role. It's a balancing act as well.
• This one is personal and perhaps TMI but I was intimate with a man for the first time in TWO YEARS! This one may need a post of its own but I was debating even sharing this information in our current sharing overload society but it's a part of my life and single womanhood - so there ya go. Now that I'm done justifying my sharing this information let me tell you a little bit about it. We're no longer intimate with each other due to the complicated situation but our intimate moments were amazing. He made me feel like a woman again and I'm very thankful to him for that. He took total control of the moments and made me feel sexy and beautiful inside and out. He reached out to hold my hand and cuddle and went straight into conversations about life - very rare to find in a man. Actually I hadn't experienced that since my first love/ex-boyfriend. Again, I'm thankful to him for letting me feel like a desired woman. Oh and he doesn't know about this blog...I think.
• Some family jazz - my brother is an amazing and talented teenager and will be graduating from high school next weekend. I'm confident that he will be changing we watch movies. My sister did her first Model UN at Harvard this Winter and LOVED it. I'm thinking she'll either be making changes in the world by taking part in policy changes or in the classroom, inspiring other hopeful Poli-Sci majors.
  
• Other family jazz - I was contacted by my biological father's side of the family; sisters, cousins, aunts, etc. The plan was to meet up with two of the sisters for lunch this week but that fell through but I was relieved for that. I'm not sure I'm ready to meet them yet. This deserves its own post as well.
  
• Right now an old friend is visiting me from New Mexico. I haven't been the best host but he's a big boy and has been able to run around the island while I work on a few projects. Though we were able to go hiking together yesterday which was nice. The Mancub loves hiking (or getting carried in the backpack carrier while I heave ho up the hill). I love that loves being out in nature! Hopefully tomorrow will be a saving grace - we'll be going to the North Shore for a photo shoot for my friend and then picnic at the beach afterwards.
  
• Next week my friend/boss and two interns will be coming to the island for some training - looking forward to meeting Gabby and Rebecca and seeing Lindsey again. Need PR? Check us out at Marketing Maven Public Relations. We specialize in lifestyle and consumer publicity but I'm also looking into a few digital and clean technology companies as well - since those are my two passions. Shameless, I know.
  
• OH!!! I went out with my friends for the first time a few weeks ago. We hung out at Chinatown's Murphy's Bar & Grille. I was able to drink and speak adult talk in Honolulu. Not at a girl's night at someone's house where we could bring kids. It was a kid-free night! And it was beautiful. Though I did talk about the Mancub a lot but he's my life so that's just how I roll. We'll be going out tomorrow night too - sans kiddos.
  
• And lastly I will be working on my 27 Things to do Before I Turn 27 list full throttle starting next week. Wish me luck!

Man that was boring but that's what's been going on in life. Work, Mancub, figuring out how much more I need to save for Seattle, and other jazz.

What's going on with you fine folk?

Mission: 27 Things to do before I turn 27

Back in October 2009 I published a simple post listing 27 things to do before I turn 27. That was how many months ago? SEVEN MONTHS AGO!!! Guess when my birthday is.

June 20.

I am now a woman with a mission. To complete at least 90% of what is on that list so that is 24 things to complete before June 20, my 27th birthday. Think I can do it? Well I've already found peace with my present, made new friends, and cooked a big meal for friends. So that's 3 down and only 21 more to go. I could've stalked George Clooney while he was on island filming a movie but chickened out or perhaps had my head screwed on right. I know a couple of my friends would say that I chickened out. Oh well, not too concerned with that one. It'd be great if I could Christen the Mancub before I turn 27 but I think that takes planning and I don't know if I have the kind of talent.

The most important one I've already achieved and that's peace with my present. So the others are bonuses but since I'm competitive (even with myself) I'm thinking I'll try to complete at least 24 of those things.

I think the next important things to accomplish would be losing 30 lbs, but only in the healthy way because I'd like to lose that weight so that I can be healthy. Playing soccer helps but I'm thinking if I attempt to take a paddle lesson, learn to surf, take a yoga class, a hula lesson then those would be great steps into the right direction.

Paying back my parents would've been lovely but I decided to pay off my other debts first since (thankfully and graciously) my parents don't have interest on their loans. So I'll just keep slowly but surely pay back the 'rents.

Anysnooze, I should start blogging/journaling everyday. It's therapeutic. But my writing skills tend to be more lent to work, which I'm loving. Though I haven't obtained five accounts for my new job; Marketing Maven Public Relations, I have gotten more than five placements for various clients and with my recent TV placement I'm thinking I'm on the right track in a successful career. Which was my point in making the "five accounts for MMPR" goal.

OK thems the goals and my new mission. What do you think?

Think I can do it?