We own our own island....

Not really but how great would that be?

So I know that some of my friends and family don't enjoy reading some of the jazz I post on here and that is totally understandable and fine.

Soooooooooooooooo.............

I've got a place for just the updates of the (almost) daily happenings of the Bambino's and my life. Have you heard of Posterous or Tumblr? No? That's cool. They're just another source for people to blog at, so that's what I'll be doing at those two places. They're my new found loves because I can post a photo or video from my phone so I can really keep my friends and family up to date. Fantastic tools for a social media geek such as myself - I love my job.

Here are the addresses:

Posterous - http://restlessmama.posterous.com
Tumblr - http://therestlessmama.tumblr.com

Or simply click HERE or HERE.

So there you go Mom and Dad you no longer have to deal with the jazz on this site you can now enjoy daily photos of your grandson. Woo hoo!!!!! And I don't have to crowd your inbox with attached photos to e-mails. Yay!!!!

That's that. For simple updates and photos of us check out those sites.

A Thankful Gobble

May your stuffing be tasty

May your turkey be plump,

May your potatoes and gravy never have a lump.

May your yams be delicious

And your pies take the prize,

And may your Thanksgiving dinner

Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Heavy Part 2 - Depression and the Parent

Disclosure: All these words are true. It is another post with jumbled words. This post may not make sense to you but know that I wouldn't ever, NEVER EVER do anything to harm my little Bambino. I did not nor do I suffer from post partum depression. My son is safe and one happy little fella. He is my love, my world, my all. Besides living for myself, the Bambino is my biggest reason for life. I hope that any other single parents or coupled parents that have gone or are going through depression will find the words to this series of posts helpful.

Always, Restless Mama

Did you read my last post? Did you click and read the link at the end?

So with my expectations of the Bambino's father, the big move, the major change not being met and many other factors I shut down. Went numb. While this is fine for some people it didn't feel right. For the past 6 years I've been living by the motto, "Life is what you make it," and not being able to get out of my funk was frusturating me. And yes this affected those around me...OK but it wasn't ok that it affected the way I parent.

To me it is not at all acceptable to be numb and/or shut off when you've got a little person to raise. To watch grow and reach milestone after milestone. To be their #1 cheerleader. To love them. And well it's kind of hard to do any of that when you're mind and heart have been shut off.

No I did not stop cheering on the Bambino and yes sometimes my enthusiasm was fake but I did it. For my son to grow to his best potential he needs all of the love and support he needs. That is my job. If he starts crawling you jump up and down for the joy that is that milestone. He turns one? Throw the biggest party and get wild celebrating the beauty that is the first year of a person's life. And don't fake a moment of it.

But my job felt just like that - a horrible, tedious task. Feed the baby. Change the baby's diaper. Stop the baby from trying to pull the plug covers off. Don't yell at the baby. Don't scare the baby by waking up in the middle of the night pounding the area around him because he won't. stop. crying! The crying. The endless crying. The endless and loud crying one night. Then a week. Then weeks. No sleep. The non-sleeping. This job - motherhood sucked.

Now I never wanted to bail on the Bambino. I would never hurt him. NEVER, EVER would I hurt the baby. But at that moment during that one night I just lost it. I had, had enough of the crying. Had enough of all of the letdowns I had experienced since our move. Enough. I needed to let it all out but I had never planned on acting out that way. It all just happened. One minute I was lying in bed with my baby and the next he was crying and then I just flipped out. Freaked the hell out of my baby.

And it was then. At that moment that I knew I couldn't do my job properly if I didn't get any help.

Yes I know that during the first year of the Bambino's life I hadn't taken a break. No time for myself but my plan was to focus on my son during his first year. No men. No time to myself other than work. Just us. Get to know my little Bamino. In retrospect I probably should've taken more time to myself.

Anyway I met with a therapist once before the incident but decided it was time to go back after that. I knew that if I didn't I might turn into a crazy person and not only would the Bambino be without a proper father figure, he'd be out a mama. And I would not have the most important person, my biggest love in my life because I had just let myself go numb and then somehow really explode.

It was time to not just starting feeling but feel good again.

To be continued......

Drummer Baby

He means some serious drummin' business.

Posted via email from restlessmama's posterous

Heavy: Part 1

The words to the following series of posts just might read word vomit and for that I apologize. Also, I did much debating on whether or not I would even post about the following because who wants to hear another single mama complain about her life? But it's more than a single mama sharing her woes - it's me. It's what's been happening and this is my blog. So if you don't feel like reading this jazz then go elsewhere and I mean that in a non-mean yet stern way. Some of you (my parents and my 3 most important friends) know the whole story but here it is for the rest of you.

Depression is a mother chucker. But let me give you a little background as to why I'm dealing with it right now. My doctor says it's Situational Depression and now a story to show why.

Pretty much from the time we landed in Seattle to when we arrived here in Hawaii I've been feeling off. In the beginning I attributed that feeling to the time changes, jet lag, and all that comes with moving from one coast to another - from one way of life to another. Moving is a difficult decision to make and doing the action is just as difficult if not more.

Things in Seattle were only challenging because my parents only wanted what would be best for the Bambino and me. Though we had different opinions on my move I knew that they loved me and only wanted us to be safe and secure. But at the time I thought that our move to Hawaii was going to be the best for us.

You see as great as it was living in Boston, at the time, it seemed impossible with our new situation. My sister had decided to go back to school full time and I didn't think I'd be able to afford anyone to watch the Bambino. I didn't think I'd be able to find a higher paying job in time (I had a month) plus I have this thing called loyalty when I work for a company with people I love, a suitable care provider, and the list goes on. I had already given up anything extra in my life so with the offer of living in Hawaii rent-free I thought it was the best decision.

I didn't think I was going into this big change blind - I had a job, childcare, and transportation setup. I was excited to reconnect with my family in Hawaii - hang out with my cousin, the Bambino's Aunty Maka, my aunts and uncles. It was going to be great to get back in shape by exploring the island and getting in touch my Hawaiian roots. Lady Boss back in Boston named this new chapter, Aloha Zen. And so I thought it was going to be so.

Not so much. Things didn't go as planned. The job, the childcare didn't go as planned. My family here was divided because of my move. The culture shocked me - froze me. I hated the warm weather - crazy I know. And though I am supported by my family it just wasn't the same as being in Boston with the greatness that is the "H" family.

Now I have had some issues with moving before. When I moved to Norway I didn't like it at first because it was different and some creepy man flashed me his penis and I was just scarred for life. Then I moved to Philadelphia and I just wasn't feeling the groove. Then I moved to Boston. At first it was strange but being surrounded by the "H" family and their love made everything feel perfect. Anyway, whenever I move I tend to hate the place I'm at in the beginning but grow to love and miss it when I leave.

So I thought with the combination of moving with a 4-month-old, major time change, massive cultural differences, minor family feuding - i.e. different stimulae that I would eventually get over it since I knew why I was feeling this way.

But I just couldn't shake that feeling. I felt jipped, lost, and all around hopeless. The Bambino and I were stuck on this island. And it sucked.

Good thing I'm not one to totally wallow in my despair. Since I've got the Bambino and I'm his only provider I had to go out and find a job. It took me a month which I thought was preetty impressive for our current economical state. The only thing is that I would be getting paid HALF of what I made in Boston and I would be taking two steps backwards in terms of job duties. But I needed to earn some sort of income so that I could afford to buy his necessities.

Even though I was earning money I still had to fall onto the shoulders of my aunts, which I hated. A mother is supposed to be able to provide for her child. So with the shame of not being able to totally provide for my child I got worse.

More to come later.....

Below is a link to a NY Times Motherlode post about parents & depression: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/02/when-a-parent-is-depressed/

Photo of the Day

Would you like a baby with those toys?

The Bambino having fun in his toy chest with his bountiful booty! Actually he has way more toys than that but I didn't want it to look like he was drowning but in retrospect I think the photo would've been if I had done so.

Anyway look at my cute little fella!

xoxo

Me

Case of the Busy Bees

I've got a HUGE case of the busy bees.

Will return to regularly scheduled/awesome filled blogging next week.

Thanks for caring.

Now go hug a tree but in the nice way not the dirty way.

Hope and Help for Anissa

This hits hard at home with me.

With the news of my high blood pressure and my dad's heart health history I am begging you all to please takes these words into serious consideration and help out this family in their dire time of need. I also ask that you take your heart health - your overall mind and body health seriously. You only have one body and one life - please treat both with special care and love.

Thank you,

Restless Mama and the Bambino

--------

12 pm Eastern UPDATE FROM ANISSA’S HUSBAND:

What we know is she had a massive stroke.

She bled into the brainstem and pons areas of the brain. She is no longer sedated but still unconcious and unresponsive. Vitals are mostly stable except for a lowgrade fever most likely due to the damage to the pons. The pons control the bodies ability to regulate temperature. She is still on a vent and it is unclear if she is capable of breathing on her own. She has had an mri/mra/ct today. An eeg is pending. We’re in a waiting game now for survival first, and ultimately for her to wake up.

—————

Original PostAs you may have heard, Anissa, our beloved friend and leader here at Aiming Low, suffered a stroke on Tuesday afternoon. She is in the hospital right now, in the ICU.
More than anything, Anissa needs your prayers and positive thoughts but to the many people in the Atlanta area who have offered help to the Mayhew family, we have set up a form for you to fill out so we can have everyone’s contact info in one place (please be assured your information will be kept private). If you are NOT in the Atlanta area but still want to help, you can also leave your information on that form.

Things that would be helpful right now are gift cards to restaurants and gift cards to the movies or to Blockbuster (to help keep the kids’ occupied) and gas/hotel gift cards for her extended family. A P.O. Box has been set up to receive any items you wish to send, the address can be found below. Please don’t send anything to the hospital or the Mayhew home. If you have questions, please email helpforanissa@gmail.com

We ask that you please respect the Mayhew family’s privacy by NOT calling the hospital and we thank you all SO MUCH for your outpouring of love and support for Anissa and her family.

With thanks and love,
The Aiming Low Team

If you would like to send something to Anissa and her family, we have set up a

P.O. Box.860 Johnson Ferry Road 140-184

Atlanta, GA 30342

Click here for the original post.

Missing you

Grammy, you are missed.

I miss you stroking my hair after dinner.

I miss your smile.

I miss your flower pillows.

I miss your voice.

I miss finding crayons and paper stashed in your bathroom closet.

I miss your cooking - really I do.

I miss your sweetness.

I miss you making me feel special and loved.

I miss your hugs.

I miss you calling and writing me telling me to write and call you more.

I should've done so.

And now I wish I could call you - your number still resides in my phone.

I'll never erase it.

Because.

Grammy, you are missed.

Love you always,

Me

Follow the Friday Brick Road Dos - Geek Goggles

Get your nerd on

Thanks to my dad I am in love with technology having a Mac since I was 5 and always having the latest tech toys in the house . Actually, technology and I have a love/hate relationship but it's the kind I can handle. I love it because of how easy it makes life for me; staying connected with those I love but are far away, reminding me I need to do something, accessible free music!!!!!!!!!!! and the list goes on. I sometimes hate it because I get freaked out at how far one can go with it; flying cars, genetically mutated farfen frack by whatever science research project and that just isn't natural.

But anyway I can appreciate a good techno project when I see one. So here are a few things & person that I'm drooling over right now:

Touch - So I don't know if you know but I lived in Norway for a year; best year of my life. Those Norwegians are the healthiest and happiest people I know, for reals. And now they are one of the smartest people I know. Though I already thought they were smart this research project, Touch, just blows my mind thinking about their minds. Here's the scoop on them:

Touch is a research project that investigates Near Field Communication (NFC), a technology that enables connections between mobile phones and physical things. We are developing applications and services that enable people to interact with everyday objects and situations through their mobile devices.

You may be scratching your eczema head wondering, "What the heck are they jibber jabberin' about?" Well here's one of the projects they're working on - it excites and freaks me out Skål. It's a funny little gadget aka media player designed to take certain objects from around the house and act as a sort of remote (for kids). For example, if your daughter wants to watch My Little Pony on the tele then you can send in a My Little Pony doll to the designer and they'll add a fancy chip with My Little Pony shows to the doll. Then whenever she wants to see the program all she does is take a the doll and kinda swoop it around in the media player bowl and wham, bam, thank you ma'am she's watching MLP on the TV.

Freaky riiiiiiiiiight? Right. Anyway check out the site and all of their projects. Then let me know if you think the Nordmenn are just as awesome as I think they are.

Mintpass Select Calculator - I'm pretty much convinced that Mintpass is porn for tech geeks or as my brother likes to phrase it, Tech Savants. They've got handy dandy gadgets that help you get your organize on (very sexy) or they've got radical calculators designed just like the ones you use on Windows or Mac OSX. And aren't those calculators just the hottest thing you ever saw since an iPhone? I think they are. It's like the creators the horror flick "The Ring" e-mailed the designers at Mintpass and were like, "Hey wouldn't it be freaky to have the calculators we use on your computers come to life like Samara does in The Ring?" And the designers were all like, "Hell yeah that'd be some freak jazz! Let's do it." Please check out the site and all of their gadget porn and tell me that you didn't burst from all of looking at all of them.

And finally:

Julia Roy (@juliaroy) - So obviously this gal is NOT a thing but a person -

beauty and brains is this lady. She is my social media/digital world heroine. She was innovative enough to promote fundraising for the Hurricaine Katrina disaster victims via social media/blogging. This was before blogging was the cool thing to do - before Mommy Bloggers!!!!! (please don't kill me mommy bloggers - I'm one of you....sort of...I really hate that title). Anyway here's a little bit about what she does from her site's "About Me":

I'm a thinker, communicator and educator of digitally and socially smart strategies and executions. I advise individuals, corporations and brands on how to plan and activate a social campaign that successfully establishes and maintains mutually-beneficial relationships with the people on the internet they care about the most.

Roy now works for Coach, Inc. as their Senior Manager of New Media. So what does that mean? Read her post about Luxury Brand and Social Media. That's right she's helping this classic luxury brand branch out to the public via social media aka the internet. Rather than consumers purchasing Vogue to find out what's new with luxury brands like Coach they can now just hit the internet and find out what's going on and give feedback while Coach still maintains their image and reputation. This is something very new for these types of brands which is of course due to the current ecnomic state. I'm very interested to see how she does with her new position. Will consumers really feel as though their voice is being heard from a designer company?

Check out her blog and follow her tweets (@juliaroy) and let me know what you think of the Cutest and Smartest Social Media Geek. I just dubbed her that - hope she doesn't mind. She knows how to get her nerd on. Oh and read her latest interview with Gelf Magazine.

That's my friday shout out.

Happy Friday the 13th!

Have a great weekend folks!

The Entitlement Generation - A Giveaway!!!

I'm just gonna be straight with you all - I come from an Entitlement Generation and so does every other generation after. Seriously, I had my own t.v. when my parents and I lived in California, if I was sick and told not to go to a dance - I somehow found a way to nudge my parents into letting me go to the dance. I asked for rollerblades and used them........maybe twice but I had to have them. When I graduated high school I got butt loads of graduation money and totally spent it on useless stuff like clothes instead of saving it because it was my money and I was entittled to whatever the heck I wanted with it. Oh and that bowl of Coldstone ice cream? I totally deserve it because I just jogged 3 miles and am sweating like a heavy-weight wrestler on a stair-stepper which means I totally burned a continent of calories.

Yeah I come from that generation. The take, take, me, me, mine, mine, now, now generation.

There's a lot of history (I blame YUPPIES *wink*) as to why a lot of folks my age and younger have this sense of entitlement but I'll just say this: our parents really wanted us to have what they didn't have. This was a blessing and a curse.

Thankfully we now have freighter ship loads of parenting books to help us not to swim into the deep end of parenting and let our own children grow up to feel as though they deserve such and such right now just because.

Thankfully with this recession we are able to tell kids, "No you may not have that new Nintendo Wii Fit just because you got an A+ on your Microbiology quiz even though you're only 8-years-old," a lot easier.

And thankfully we've got people like Karen Deerwester around to write awesome books with practical tips on how to raise children with the, "Me, mine, now" attitude called, The Entitlement Free Child.

But what is an Entitlement Child and how do I get them to become an Entitlement-Free Child?

An Entitlement Child is one who thinks they should have a cell phone just because everyone else and their dog has one at school. They are the child who got a D on their paper and blames the teacher - they're too difficult. It is the child who breaks their friends toy and doesn't feel any sort of remorse or responsibility. They are that kid. A parent's worse nightmare. The Veruca Salt to Roal Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

The Entitlement Free Child is the one who asks what they can do to earn a cell phone. The child who will not only own the responsibility of not getting a good grade on a test but a find a way to do better next time - fix the mistake so that it doesn't happen again. It is the child who will tell their parents that they broke their friend's toy and wants to figure out what they can do to fix and how they will tell their friend. They are the Charlie - who does go into the Bubble Room and flies around with good ole Grandpa but owns up to at the end and rides the glass elevator. The angel child. The child that all parents wish they had.

So how do we get to that point?

Well Deerwester gives plenty of examples of "Entitlement issues" such as "my son says he hates me whenever I tell him to do his chores" and then provides Entitlement-Free Perspectives" like not trying to convince your child that you are right, particularly when emotions are high or help your child identify constructive alternatives to reactive behavior.

Or other examples like allowances - should I give my child an allowance? Or how do I handle a tantrum in public?

Whatever the issue Deerwester's book contains great advice and perspectives on how we should parent our children today. Now I'm not saying every parent should get off their tucus and go out, buy this book, and take it as the gospel. If you buy this book, read it - read it again and write down notes THEN see if it's really something that you could use for your daily life. The ultimate goal is to have a family and future where everyone can connect their feelings and thoughts to their choices and actions - where they are able to see the world from many perspectives; think before reacting, where the children become problem solvers and leaders.

But don't forget parents it's YOUR job to raise the Entitlement-Free Child - they don't just get shipped to your door from Stork, Inc. The parent too has to get rid of any sense of entitlement to be able to raise one. And I think that's a real downfall these days with the go-go parents; always on the go - much easier to find a quick fix than to really take the time to parent.

For me a lot of the perspectives Deerwester mentioned were already common knowledge for me but I'm thinking it's because I've been exposed to so many different types of families around the world and cared for so many different types of children. I'm not saying that I'm Super Nanny or a parenting expert but I have enough data to make some pretty sound judgements when it comes to raising the Bambino.

When he's old enough to take out the garbage - he'll be taking out the garbage but not because I will have ordered him to do so. He'll do it because he will realize that he's not just doing a chore but making a contribution to our household and children love to feel as though they do something to make their home. Humans love to feel as though they are doing their part for the greater good.

Anyway, The Entitlement Free Child, is a great parenting reference book but I really only suggest it for the parents who have really lost their way. Otherwise everything in there is pretty much common sense.

And now onto the Giveaway!!!!!!

The awesome PR Peeps for the book and Mom Select were kind enough to pick me to read, review and giveaway a copy of the book so here I go..... :o)

How to Enter:

Leave a comment and be sure to leave an e-mail address I can reach you at if you win.

The contest runs from today, November 10, 2009 until next Friday, November 20, 2009.

Oh and for FTC purposes - this is a sponsored post however all opinions expressed in this post are solely mine - MINE!!!

The Questionnaire Filler Post

A little something while I work on some things for a friend and write up a review and giveaway for tomorrow. That's right tomorrow I'll be having a GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!!

Tune in tomorrow but in the meantime enjoy this narcissistic list. Oddly enough this was a challenge to complete.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Excitement and peace with where you are in life.

2. What is your greatest fear?
Not experiencing enough.

3. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Not sure this one's hard. No one. Not a single person.

4. Which living person do you most admire?
Myself.

5. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My procrastination. I'm awesome at it in fact I should get an award. No but really...I can't stand this about myself and am working on fixing this.

6. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Close-mindedness

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Bravery.

8. What is your greatest extravagance?
Food.

9. On what occasion do you lie?
I used to lie all the time about money to my parents but I don't lie about that anymore - no more secrets.

10. What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My stomach but I'm fixing that.

11. When and where were you happiest?
I would love to say when the Bambino was born and don't get me wrong I was so excited and so happy but I was happiest when I was on the plane to Norway after college. When I was off on a new adventure on a foreign land with a language unknown to me.

12. What is your greatest regret?
Leaving Boston.

13. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Familial/Overall - The Bambino
Romantically - Mr. Perfect

14. What is your current state of mind?
Improvement.

15. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
It's a tie between going to Norway and giving birth to the Bambino.

16. What is your most treasured possession?
My life.

17. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
The loss of self awareness.

18. Where would you like to live?
Everywhere but I'd really like for the Bambino to be around his Popi & Tutu. I was forunate enough to live with my Grammy for eight years and would love for the Bambino to have the same opportunity - except not live with them but live near them.

19. What is your favorite occupation?
Right now I'm really loving the freelance work I'm doing for my friend's PR firm - Social Networking Manager.

20. What do you most value in your friends?
Their complete and brutal honesty. They do not hold back at all and I love it.

21. Who are your favorite writers?
Haruki Murakami and Dickens.

22. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Delilah

24. What are your favorite names?
Besides the Bambino's real name? For boys - Liam & Connor
For girls - Chloe, Mimi, Lulu, Phoebe, Penelope and the list goes on....

25. What is it that you most dislike?
Cowardice.

26. How would you like to die?
Either in my sleep or instantaneously.

27. What is your motto?
Life is what you make it.

What are your answers?

Follow the Friday Brick Road.......

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I'm a mass-hole!!!

Check it out I did a guest post at Mass Hole Mommy's blog-a-rino.

Thanks lady!

CLICK ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.

Oh and she also did a little mention of me HERE.

The Meandering Bohemian

The Meandering Bohmeian was kind enough to do a guest post as well. This funny and kind fella and I go waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back! You may remember me mentioning that he was an old high school crush, I mean friend. ;o) Well this boho is now a successful married man who does some fantastic writing on the side. His site, Meandering Bohemian, is full of great insight shown with his words, famous quotes & phrases, and showcases fantastic photography from photogs around the globe. His latest post, My Journey with Jack Kerouac, is my favorite yet - maybe because I can connect with what he's saying or maybe because I love a good Kerouac read and anyone else who enjoys him. Anyway check out what he has to say about his mama. It's hilarious but mostly sweet. Don't forget to add his blog to your Google Reader.
Thanks for doing this James!


The Restless Mama and I have known each other closely and from afar for many a year. A fun fact about the two of us is that we share a birthday. We are both Gemini/Cancer cusp people! If you get the two of us in the same room its like having four jealous, protective, spastic people who have been locked in an elevator for six hours. So this should be fun for everyone. Now you can see what she would be like if she was an alcoholic, chain smoking, obsessive cusser… and male! Yeah you’re right, probably a stretch. When I was asked to guest post on the Restless Mama blog my first question was what does a boozing, childless, late twenties male have to say on a motherhood centric blog! But I was honored and here I am.

I figured since I don’t have any kids myself, have a hard time relating to people with children my age and generally am one of those people you’d probably prefer to keep your kids away from. I could only resort to the one thing that was left: talking about my mother.

My mother is and has been, since I was very young,my hero. Those 100 question internet surveys almost always ask “who is your hero” and I always list my mother. I just never understood people who listed sport, cultural, or political figures. I can’t relate to those people. I don’t know them. And it would be my luck that I’d list Michael Jordan or Al Gore or Big Bird and hold onto that for 20 odd years, only to read some post mortem biography about how they were really doped up, sex crazed, assholes.

It’s totally true, Big Bird probably boozes it up with Oscar the Grouch when the cameras are off and lord only knows how much tickling is going on with Elmo when the curtains go down. His friend the Count “1 ah ah ah… 2 ah ah ah…" yeah he' probably Big Birds drug dealer. If my years have taught me anything it's that drug dealers are good at math. Probably all those cash transactions and weighing of product.

I’d be crushed if I had to endure finding that out about my hero. So it always just made more sense to have a hero that a) I personally knew and b) I could defend if ever challenged. Plus girls do that head tilt thing like curious birds, hands held to their hearts, eyes gloss over, long winded “Ah’s” and “that’s so cute” when I reveal who is my hero. Chicks dig sensitive dudes.

But why you ask is my mother my hero? Well I admire her for her hard work. . Plus she’s lived a real rags to riches life. Raised with her two sisters and two brothers, her father left her mother penniless, alone and with five adolescent children. They were poor and at times had to live in condemned houses with no heat and very few luxuries. Her mother, my grandmother, raised the family with an iron fist, probably out of sheer necessity. My grandmother did eventually remarry the man whom I know as my grandfather. But life for the family was never easy.

My mother has a long list of amazing accomplishments in my book. She graduated high school almost two years early. She was kicked out of the house at 18 and survived. She is at the top of her career field and is highly respected despite not having any higher education. She’s not afraid to try new things, places, or people. And perhaps her greatest accomplishment, she raised two healthy, smart and successful young men; myself and my younger brother.

A little about that last accomplishment. I’ve always said that I was raised perfectly. How many kids this day can say that. My mother was always stern but fair raising me. She told me at 13 that everything I needed to know about right and wrong was instilled in me by the age of 10 and I was just going to have to face the consequences of my actions from that point forward. It held true the rest of my life. When I did wrong I had to handle it. Not like so many parents I see today who mop up there children’s problems for them. I was by no means a golden child either. I had my brushes with danger, booze, drugs, crazy girlfriends, and less than ideal choices. But I came out alright on the other side. I’m successful, deeply in love with my wife and happy today. I think her style allowed me to experience life without going overboard because I always new if I went too far there was no one to blame but myself and no one to fix the problems I had created for myself. She was stern but fair. I was spoiled to the point of comfort but not to the point of excess.

My mom was a bit old school raising me. I had nice cloths, good shoes, and nice toys. But that all had to last. Tore a hole in my shoes, “tough shit those shoes have to last you the whole school year". Thought it was a good idea to play with my G.I Joe’s realistically and sacrificially burn them in the yard, “Well you’re not getting new ones”. Crashed my truck at 16 driving like an idiot, “guess you’ll be the only senior riding the bus to school until you can save enough money for a new car”. Had a brush with Mr. officer in college because I was underage drinking, “have fun paying your court fees”. These things while giving my mother gray hairs also gave me life lessons. I think had my mother mopped up my messes I’d be weaker as a person and less of person in general. I do know right from wrong. I understand every action has a consequence, and I’m able to face life’s challenges. Not to mention to this day I can make a pair of shoes last me years, obsessively take care of my most prized possession, and drive an old 94 Nissan Altima. Because it’s mine, I paid for it, and it’s got character. Oh and I haven’t talked to a cop in years… Knock on wood!

So Mom… This Bud’s for you! I think this day and age it’s amazing to have a mother who has a son who claims “he was raised perfectly!” But that’s what I always say when asked about my childhood. So for what its worth the boozing, childless, late twenties male has some advice for all those mothers out there:

Allow your children to experience life, handle their choices and learn the ropes of life. Protect them from harm but allow them to grow! This thing called life is selfish, brutish and harsh. Fixing your children's mistakes does nothing to help them learn, grow and know what it is to be ALIVE!

Many thanks to the Restless Mama for letting me share some words with you all. I think I only cussed twice. When I asked under what conditions I had to post she said, “I couldn’t drop the F bomb”. It was almost a deal breaker :o)

-Meandering Bohemian

The Mass Hole Mommy

Things around here are still a bit.........hmmm..........ummmm.......dark and while I know talking about the dark times worked for Dooce and other bloggers I just don't feel comfortable talking about it yet or maybe ever.
Anyway, I'm not ready to write any posts or share anymore photos right now so I'm going to take a mini-break. BUT! I'd still like to stay a bit current so I asked a few peeps to guest blog for me while I take this hiatus. The first guest is Robin of Mass Hole Mommy. I'm not sure who tweeted first but we met via Twitter and ever since then we've been "pals." Whenever I'm back in Massachusetts I will be calling her so that we can get crazy together and let our kids cause a wild rumpus.
Anysnooze Robin was kind enough to oblige me when I asked her to write a post for the ole bloggity-blog. I loved reading this post - it makes me miss Massachusetts even more than I already do. Funny how the grass is greener, ay? Enjoy folks and don't forget to check her out on her own blog because it's awesome! Thanks Lady Bird!

Last week I started looking for guest writers for my blog, Mass Hole Mommy, and Aljolynn offered to write one and I was so honored. I mean, she has one of the coolest blogs out there! And when I received an email from her about writing on HER blog, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Who wouldn’t jump on that!

Anyway, if you haven’t figured out by now I live in Massachusetts, about 20 minutes south of Boston. I grew up here in MA and have chosen to raise my kids here, too! I absolutely love living here! With that being said, I have come up with a list of 10 things I love about living here:

1. The New England Patriots. Who can argue this one? 3 Super Bowl titles in 4 years. We have one of the best (side note: I was going to say the best) Quarterbacks in the NFL, Tom Brady. Although he chose to marry Giselle instead of me, I will still hold a very special place in my heart for him.

2. The beach! Living so close to the coast, there are tons of beaches very close-by. Cape Cod is about a 15 minute ride for me, and it’s all beach! I love to take my kids to the beach whether it be on the Cape or Constitution Beach in East Boston. Well at least for the 3 months of summer we actually get around here that is.

3. I mentioned the beach, so how can I leave out the opposite, snow? As much as the majority of New Englanders, me being one of them, complain about it, there is nothing like getting out there to play in it. Then come in for a nice mug of hot chocolate afterwards. The shoveling part, not so much, but building a big old snowman is definitely good times.

4. Dunkin Donuts! I realize that they have not invaded the entire country yet, which is a shame, but they have the best coffee, donuts and bagels around. And here in New England, you can find one on just about every corner. YUM!

5. Sam Adams Brewing Company. Yup, with their delicious seasonal blends, it is by far the best beer company on the face of the earth. And guess what, they brew it right out of their HQ in Boston!

6. Plymouth. Plymouth is probably a town that everyone in the country knows. From the Pilgrims landing there for the first time in America to the first Thanksgiving feast. There is tons of history there and it’s the next town over from me, so I am there a lot. There is a Mayflower replica, Plimouth Plantation, in which they recreate what it was like to live in a village at the time of Pilgrims and tons of fun things to do there, like haunted lantern tours. I love Plymouth and recommend that everyone who makes it to MA goes to spend the day there.

7. The Red Sox. Come on, with their World Series win in 2004 after 80 some-odd years without a win. Who doesn’t like a comeback story? Plus Fenway Park rocks!!

8. Our super cool accents. I actually debated writing this whole post in a Boston accent (pahk tha cah in tha hahvid yahd), but figured no one else would know what I was saying.

9. We have the craziest highways ever. Where else could you be driving north and south at the same time but in MA? Yes, 95 South and 93 North are actually the same stretch of road. Go figure?

10. The Drop Kick Murphys. Go to iTunes and check out some of their music. It rocks!! They are the official band of the Red Sox and everyone here in MA knows all of their songs.

So, there you have it. I would really like to thank Aljolynn for the opportunity to be a guest on such an awesome blog! Believe me, as much as I love where I live, I am extremely envious of the fact she now lives in paradise.

ROAR!!!!

Guess what the Bambino was for Halloween...

That's right! The cutest tiger EVER!

Us. We went Trick or Treating at the Pearlridge Mall. Never again will do that at a shopping center. TOO MANY PEOPLE!!!! It seems as though the Bambino loved it and all of the people. He even tried to wander off and do his own thing. I'm not sure I'm ready for him to be independent yet.

At home with his Aunty Maka. His aunty was a great sport and joined us in the festitivies. We went trick or treating with our friends The Hubers but were silly enough not to get photos of the two of them in their costumes together. Maybe we'll dress them up later this week just for kicks and get a photo and pretend it was taken on Halloween. *wink*

And the independent Bambino tiger. He looks might fierce!

We hope you all had a safe and happy Halloween!

xoxo