Missing you

Grammy, you are missed.

I miss you stroking my hair after dinner.

I miss your smile.

I miss your flower pillows.

I miss your voice.

I miss finding crayons and paper stashed in your bathroom closet.

I miss your cooking - really I do.

I miss your sweetness.

I miss you making me feel special and loved.

I miss your hugs.

I miss you calling and writing me telling me to write and call you more.

I should've done so.

And now I wish I could call you - your number still resides in my phone.

I'll never erase it.

Because.

Grammy, you are missed.

Love you always,

Me

Give unto others...

I'd like to thank everyone who sent me e-mail and left me comments wishing the Bambino a happy birthday.

Some of you were even kind of enough to ask if there was anything that you could do or get for him - even those of you who don't know the Bambino.........WOW!

While I am grateful that "strangers" would be so gracious as to want to give the Bambino a gift I would have to say that a different kind of gift would be even more appreciated.

I am a huge supporter of non-profit organizations & charities and also try to spread the word about the ones I truly believe in. I'd also like to deed that trait to the Bambino - if at all possible.

So if you'd really like to give a memorable and meaningful gift then please donate to any of the following organizations in the Bambino's name (not sure what his name is then click HERE):

• Future Leaders of Rwanda - I am a huge supporter of education and realize that here in the States we are so blessed to have a public education system - albeit it is sometimes not the best but we have one nonetheless. Not all countries have this privilege. In Rwanda schools normally do not go beyond the 9th grade. My friend Alanna and her colleauges are working together to build a school for the children of Rwanda - the future leaders of Rwanda.
• Donate Life - If some of you don't know why I am a huge supporter of organ donation then click HERE. Organ donation has been a part of my life since my dad's heart transplant in 2004. If it weren't for organ donors I know that I wouldn't have the chance to argue with my dad anymore and dammit do I love to jest with my dad. It has also given the Bambino a chance to get to know both of his grandparents and that is something special in itself.
• Women's Commission for Refugee Women & Children - Everyday I tell myself that I am lucky even considering my current circumstances. I know this because I am not fleeing from my war-ridden country. I have not been torn apart from my children. I have not been thrown into slavery. I do not have to sleep at a camp worrying if my family is ok. I am here with my son and the knowledge that my family is safe. Not everyone has this sense of security. That is why this organization fights for the rights of those who do not have the comforts that we U.S. citizens do. That is why I am a big supporter of this mission.
• International Catholic Migration Commission - I'll let my friend Alanna explain: We are doing a ton of work with displaced Iraqi families and kids, including through remedial and catch-up education programmes to get the kids back in school again and, last year, 60% of all Iraqi families that were permanently resettled to the US passed through our programmes, which include medical screenings and care, legal support, cultural orientation for the US and English language classes.
  We also do a lot of work in Pakistan with children (in partnership with UNICEF) and in Asia, mostly with victims of human trafficking and gender-based violence.
• Cradles to Crayons - Fortunately the Bambino has me and our family to provide him with love, food, milk, diapers, clothes, a home, etc. Unfortunately not all children do - please help stop this. This is a wonderful organization that provides clothes, toys, school supplies, etc. for children 0-12 years.
• Friends of Maddie - I read Heather Spohr's blog everyday and everyday I am thankful to still have the Bambino in my present and physical life; that I can hug and kiss him everyday. My heart goes out to the Spohr family and I jump for joy for their "coming soon" daughter, Binky. Friends of Maddie was created after the Spohr's first daughter, Madeline, passed away this April. It is an organization that supports families with critically ill babies in the NICU - something they wish they had had when their Maddie was sick. A related foundation is The Liz Logelin Foundation - founded by her husband Matt Logelin. I suggest you check out that organization as well.

Those are the organizations that I'm hoping can reach their financial aid goals because they do so much for people in need. If you do not feel inclined to support the listed charities then we are huge supporters of foundations dealing with women & children, education, music, art, and families in need.

Thank you for your support folks!

Always,

Restless Mama & the Bambino

Wait...did we just have a birthday?

Dear Bambino,

Your FIRST birthday in a nutshell:

We woke up at 6:00 am.

I sang Happy Birthday to you while you smiled and giggled.

Then I gave you a good birthday tickle. I love to hear you laugh.

And then I brought you out to the birthday setup - high chair with decorations from by Popi and Tutu and all of the presents that they sent you plus the one gift that I got you, and your 1st big boy breakfast which consisted of scrambeled egg yolk, turkey bacon, crescent roll, and extremely diluted guava juice.

You thought the birthday hat was a little silly and very confusing. I thought you wanted me to take it off of you but you freaked out when I did. So I put it back on you for you to play with.

After I put it back on you. Look at all those gifts you got form Popi & Tutu!!

Yay! for silly birthday hats! Your first big boy breakfast. You couldn't care less for the scrambeled eggs but you LOVED the crescent roll and turkey bacon.

Yum yum breakfast!

What you REALLY loved was the guava juice - even though it was totally watered down. You couldn't get enough of it. You also got a kick out of your new big boy cup with a straw.

You made out like a bandit with presents from Tutu & Popi. You got a Peter Rabbit book, Peter Rabbit doll, Baby Seal doll from Alaska, a little wooden puppet from Italy, books & a toy car from Harrods in London, some fun beach clothes, a toy football (that you took a big chunk out of while I cooked you breakfast), and the best gift of all (in my eyes at least) a college fund. WOW! They really, really love you Bambino.The loot.

This framed poster was my gift to you. I didn't want to get you toys because I can get those for you any day. No books because you've plenty of books and again...I can get those any time for you. I searched and searched for the perfect gift - something sentimental but not overdone. Then I found this. The lady who worked with me on it was so patient and enthusiastic about this poster. I love it. I never got to do a proper birth announcement for you so this is it. The cute and sweet details of your birth in a frame.

After the excitement of singing happy birthday!, eating your first big boy breakfast, opening presents, eating presents, and cleaning up - we just hung out for a bit. You played around with some of your new toys but you also did your usual hang out routine - which meant following mama around the house. I had just set up the present to photograph them when you decided to pop your cute little one-year-old head up to be photographed! You really love the camera.

Then Aunty Amber & your girl friend Delyla stopped by to drop off a present for you. Here you are reading the card. You really had fun with this card and enjoyed the taste of it. You chew on the funninest things little one.

After that we all went for a walk. We stopped by Starbucks and here you are reading the New York Times - just like your mama does.

After some lunch and napping it was time to head out to Nana Patty's house for the BBQ she was putting together for you. Here are the beautiful cupcakes that she made for you.

I just fell in love with the look of these cupcakes. Aren't they cute? All for you my love.

Mmmmmmmmm...cupcakes! Little did I know later that night after we sand Happy Birthday! to you that would have nothing to do with them. You were so tired by the time we got to the good stuff. So sorry my love.

Us. That lei is really for you but since it was too long mama wore it for you. I wish this weren't so blurry but the memory of yesterday never will be.

You played with your friends; Delyla, Kaira, & Kiani. They all love you so much. They did nothing but give you kisses and hugs. Unfortunately for them you were more entralled with the ball or other toys to be concerned about hugs and kisses. Though I'm sure deep down inside you felt the love and totally appreciated it.

You also did some things on your own. You looooooooooooove this toy. It makes lots of sounds and music. Perfect for your party theme. Anyway I love to watch you play because have such focus when you take on a task.

You look very innocent and sweet in this photo.

The beautifully decorated lanai that your Nana Patty, Aunty Kim, and Kiani did for you. I wish I had taken photos of them for you to see. We did get some good video footage so I'll share that later.

Flying vinyl.

Music pop!

The spread. Us again. I thought I'd throw in one more photo of us. It was such a special day. You were so great even with all of the new stimuli that you were exposed to - you were such a trooper. We didn't get a chance to get some cake smothered all over your face but you seemed to enjoy the sweetness of the frosting. You were too excited to eat any food but you still ate a bit.

It was a great birthday relaxed but full of love and family.

You probably won't remember but I hope that you had a blast and liked your special day.

You are so special my little love.

Thank you for being born my little Bambino!

Love,

Mama

Thank you to everyone who sent their happy birthday wishes to the Bambino. Special thanks to Nana Patty, Uncle Roy, Uncle Lou, Aunty Kim, Uncle Tony, Kiani, Kaira, Aunty Amber, Delyla, Aunty Megs, and Popi & Tutu for sharing such palpable love yesterday.

Dear Bambino...

It's your birthday! We're out celebrating...so I'll leave you with this for now...my birthday present to you.

Love, Mama

Labor Day

Dear Bambino,

On September 19, 2008 I had my last prenatal doctor's appointment. It was a normal day really.

I hopped on the commuter rail from Salem to Boston.

Walked to the Massachusetts General Hospital.

Took the elevator to the fourth floor.

Did the usual check up, blood pressure, weight, cervical exam.

I was told that I was still 4 cm dilated and 75% effaced.

But when the nurse took my blood pressure she noticed that it was high - 130/90. Which was unusual to my regular 120/80 or 115/65.

Though I had my high blood pressure the doctor just told me to go home and rest - after she had shoved her whole upper part of her body up my va-jay-jay.....she popped the cervical blah blah blah (I can't remember) in the hopes of getting some contractions started since I was one day past my due date and had the high blood pressure.

After the doctor's appointment I stopped by my the ole TBG office to check in on the peeps. Did a little recruiting help. Then went back home.

I turned on Friends and took a nap. This was around noon.

Three hours later I got a call from the MGH nurse.

I was to come in to get monitored for my blood pressure but was most likely going to go home unless I started natural labor.

Your Aunty Liz & Uncle Adrien took me to the city with the bags that I had packed...just in case this was the BIG day. I called your Poppie & Tutu, Aunty Megs & Brooke, Uncle Paul to tell them that I MIGHT be going into later that night.

None of us thought I would.

We were wrong.

When I arrived at the hospital and monitored for a bit I was told that I had preeclampsia and that I would have to be induced.

I wasn't too happy about this news because I wanted you to come out on your own time without any kind of interventions BUT...

if induction hadn't happened....we might not be here today.

So! At 8:00 pm on September 18, 2008 I was induced into labor. To give birth to you my love.

Like most expecting mothers we all hope that the labor is quick and as painless as possible. Most moms get to walk around while they're having their contractions.

Not this mama. Since I had the high blood pressure I had to be put on magnesium which meant that I wouldn't have the strength to walk around.

This is not what I had planned. I wanted to do everything natural so that you wouldn't be harmed in any way. I wanted to walk around and squat when I had my contractions. I wanted to birth like the women of the fields before the industrial revolution. A pioneer birther. Natural birther.

But life had different plans than I.

Around 5am my water broke. It was an amazing sensation! I felt some relief from all the pressure that I had been feeling the past two months of the pregnancy.

I was excited - you were ready to come out into the world. I thought you'd definitely be out and I'd be holding and staring at you by at the lastest 8am.

Nope. Instead the contractions decided to kick mama up the corn hole and debilitate her even more.

That's when I asked for the epidural....actually it took me a a few hours to decide whether or not if I wanted to do it because I wanted to give birth to you naturally but the contractions were unbearable. But your Aunty Liz reassured me that as long as you came out healthy and mama was still living - then isn't that what really mattered?

So with some tears the doctors gave me the epidural.

This made mama really sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy. So Mr. Sandman came to pay her a visit for a couple of hours.

It was 10 am when mama woke up and Aunty Liz & Uncle Adrien had to leave - your aunty had to go to work. Mama was sad to see her sister leave but she knew that your Aunty Collette would comfort her.

Unfortunately mama was on her own for about three hours since parking was impossible in the city on a Saturday - which made it near impossible for your Aunty Collette and cousin Erin to make it to the hospital.

Three hours later and mama's gettin' hit with the real stuff - the stuff that makes her want to squeeze, push, birth! It was time for you to come out into the world. Thankfully Aunty Collette & Erin made it just in time to help me push.

While Erin sat behind the curtains cheering on your mama and you - I pushed. Your Aunty Collette praised and encouraged - looked out the window and held my hand.

I asked them to be quiet.

I pushed. And pushed. While the nurse told me to push harder and to keep my breaths in a continuous beat. To not give up. That you were almost out she could feel your head getting closer.

Well I could feel you a lot better than the nurse but I got tired. Breathing and pushing is though work - the toughest actually. I think I made my ugly face while I pushed.

Anyway -I had hoped to have a quick pushing session - maybe 20 minutes tops. I just wanted to hold you that badly. BUT my body would have it otherwise.

I pushed for an hour wish isn't long really but it felt like a long time.

It was freaking tiresome - more so than a weekend full of playing nonstop soccer. Than shoveling dirt.

But as soon as you were out I felt such an instant relief. You were out.

I saw your head - you looked slimy and purple lined with white.

Your Aunty Collette and I momentarily debated whether or not if you were a white or brown baby.

Then your Aunty Collette followed you and the doctors. They washed you off, weighed you, and did all of the good stuff to make sure you were a healthy baby boy.

And then....

you were in my arms and I said, Oh my god! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

And you looked at me - right at me. Those big beautiful brown eyes of yours looked right into my heart.

I was hooked. I am hooked. It was then that I became yours.

I am forever yours.

Love,
Mama

GIVEAWAY: TrulySanctuary Apparel

For those who read this blog regularly you know that I had been planning on a Music Themed 1st Birthday Party for the Bambino. Everything from the CD party favors to his outfit. The sad news is that I will not be able to throw him the party due to my car breaking down and it costing $$$$$$$$$$$. My heart breaks but a mama must do what she can. No worries though we're still celebrating with just our close family here on Hawai'i - so Bambino you're birth will still be honored and celebrated....just not the way mama had planned.

But there is good news folks - the folks who made the Bambino's birthday outfit (picture of him in it to come later....I have a weird superstition about putting him in anything birthday related BEFORE his birthday) agreed to do a GIVEAWAY with me so that ONE of you lucky folks could enjoy the greatness that is their designs!

Let me tell you a few things about them first:

• I found them on Etsy
• They design some great apparel with cute political figures to old school stereo systems on their clothes - funky but still baby friendly designs
• They're funny folks
• Very reasonably priced so after the lucky winner gets a free item from their shop - they should go back and BUY!!!! Because their stuff is that cool!
• Family owned and operated - I'm all about supporting the Ma & Pa businesses
• An absolute delight to work with. While trying to figure out what I wanted to put on the Bambino's onesie they cheered me on and offered some really great suggestions. PLUS - they're really down to earth.
• Efficient, efficient, efficient - As soon as I decided on what exactly I wanted (which took me two weeks...very picky), I had the onesie in my hands within 2 days. That's from Florida to Hawai'i folks. DANG! If that isn't efficient I don't know what is.
• QUALITY! The onesie is soft and I've already pre-washed it and the design is still on it. Top notch stuff people.

So to the GIVEAWAY - ONE lucky person will win ONE FREE item from their shop excluding their ponchos.

How to win?

Leave me a comment below. Extra entry if you leave me a comment telling me the family's inspiration behind their designs.

The giveaway starts today, September 16 and goes until this Sunday, September 20 (the Bambino's birthday). Winners will be announced on Monday, September 21st. Winner chosen at random.

Read below for the inspiration behind TrulySanctuary:

We are Ron and Bethany Remsberg…TrulySanctuary is run out of our home currently in Lakeland Florida. We came up with the concept over a year ago on July, 4th 2008. Ron had been going to school full-time while slinging coffee to make ends meet. Along with the arrival of our daughter Truly Louise, this was becoming a busy first year of marriage.

The 4th of July rolled around (Our first major holiday as a family) and because of Ron’s busy schedule he was going to miss out on the festivities. When he left for work that day it was clear he was extremely down. I had to think of something not just to cheer him up, but to let him know we were thinking about him and proud of what he was doing for our family. A silly picture of Ron wearing a fake mustache and a bandana on his head in an Aunt Jemima fashion instantly came to mind and I knew what I had to do. I went to the store and along with a cheap package of fireworks and a couple of beers; I bought the supplies I needed to carry out my cheer up daddy plan.


That night Ron was greeted by his 3 month old daughter wearing a onesie with that silly picture of him right on the front. He instantly felt great…it was personal; it made him laugh and feel loved! That night we couldn’t stop thinking of the different onesies we wanted to make for our daughter, then for our friend’s kids…it didn’t take long to realize that we were on to something.


Of course we’ve come a long way from that first silly onesie made on our bathroom counter with my mother-in- law’s iron and some store bought transfer paper. We now offer a gorgeous top of the line product fit for any baby boutique. ..Any baby! Our goal has not only been quality, but to continuously provide a new stream of the most unique, fun and quirky baby and toddler clothes out on the market.


Our daughter Truly (our company’s namesake) is now 16 months old and our second daughter Normandy Mae is 3 months old…life continues to get busier, but fuller as our family and company, TrulySanctuary, grow.


Thank you,


Bethany, Ron, Truly Lu and Normandy Mae
TrulySanctuary


***Ron & Bethany did not ask me to do this giveaway for them - I asked them and they were kind enough to agree. So this is really a non-sponsored blog post. I just love their designs and attitude that much.***

I get by with a little help from my friends (and family)

Example of the Bambino's first birthday outfit by Trulysanctuary on Etsy.

So I've got a great little outfit picked out for the Bambino's first birthday which is Music themed, I can't stand those Dora or Pooh party themes so I went with something a little unique. Anysnooze, I'm reallye excited about this outfit and am so thankful that the designer has been so patient with me on this onesie. And yes I realize that this is just an outfit that the Bambino will only wear a couple of times but it still has to be perfect. Who knows maybe I'll use it to make him a quilt (that maybe my mom or someone crafty in my family will make?) for when he goes to college or something.

It's his first birthday and the outfit has to be perfect along with everything else. The Bambino will have reached a milestone, along with reaching many milestones within just that ONE milestone. Anyway, I'm excited to have found an out fit but...........

......I'm having some issues on what to put on the Bambino's 1st birthday onesie outfit.

On the tape part I plan on sticking with the, Bambino's Party Mix, but am having trouble figuring out what to put below it.

I came up with, I crescendoed my way into my 1st year or Crescendo since 2008. They're ok but I'm not totally sold on either of them.

Some of my friends have picked some great ones but I'm still not totally sold. That's where where you folks come in.

Do any of you clever and musically inclined folks have any suggestions?

If so please leave me a comment.

The Old Goat on Route 66

Dear Old Goat,

On Sunday you turn 66 and like the route you have reached a historic milestone. So in honor of your 66th birthday I would like to list 66 reasons (in no particular order) as to why I love you and am so thankful that you have allowed me to call you "Dad" for the past 23 years.

66 Reasons I love My Old Goat

1. Your love of travel;
2. Your desire to learn about different cultures;
3. The notes and poems you used to put in my "Emergency" kits for school;
4. Because you took me out to lunch, just the two of us, to try to understand me;
5. Our trips to the zoo together and the chili dogs we used to eat afterwards;
6. Our road trips to Colorado or Sacramento;
7. The stops we made during the road trips like the dinosaur museum and Salt Lake...even though I didn't get out of the car;
8. Your persistence to open my eyes and see reality - the world;
9. Your devotion to mom;


10. Your devotion to me and the Bambino;
11. Your devotion to your family and friends;
12. Your crankiness - you're a grumpy Old Goat but you wouldn't be you if you weren't;
13. How you've provided for your family and not just mom and me but the many others;
14. Your bravery, it is much braver to choose to fight for life than to give up;
15. Your good credit and I don't mean financially - you were indebted to someone for your life and you payback the community by sharing your story;


16. Your bread...it's beyond delicious;
17. Your cooking in general - oh how I miss it;
18. Your love of cooking;
19. How you were teaching me to be tech savvy since I was 5-years-old with the introduction of a Mac;
20. The abacus and many other global toys/tools from your many travels;
21. Our trips to the library - I can still remember what it looks like;
22. Company picnics - even though they were boring I was still happy to go with you;
23. My broken leg and how you were there in the room when I found I wouldn't be able to play my last season of high school soccer - you looked just as broken hearted as I did but still put a hopeful smile on your face for my sake;
24. How you let me watch you shave in the mornings when I was little and would let me pretend to shave my face....even though I'm a GIRL!
25. Bedtime stories;
26. Hanging out at the pool;
27. Father/daughter dances;


28. Making Missions out of papier mache;
29. Going to Missions to help me learn about my school project;
30. San Diego Padre games...or the tailgate parties?;
31. Disneyland;
32. Knotts Berry Farm;
33. Birthday parties with favorite homecooked meals (you & mom);
34. Moving to Seattle or more like the drive from Sacramento to Seattle;
35. How I got to spend time with just you for a few days for our first Christmas in Seattle;
36. Crossing over the Tacoma Narrows Bridge for my first time and how you told me its history as we drove on it;
37. Visiting Grammy and the family in Sacramento;
38. Preparing for Spelling Bees;
39. Trolley rides to Old Town San Diego;
40. Mission Bay and San Fernando Beach picnics;
41. You jogging and me riding my bike on Saturday mornings when we lived in California;
42. Helping me with extra credit homework for when we went to Sacramento for Thanksgivings;
43. Actually helping me with a lot of homework throughout the years;
44. My first Spanish/English dictionary and how you were trying to get me to learn Spanish before high school;
45. Letting me play soccer;
46. Buying me rollerblades - you know the ones I never used...or wait...I used them twice;
47. Trying to teach me how to cook - numerous times;
48. How you were looking for the best gift for the Bambino's shower;
49. The Bambino's Christmas gifts - we love the fuzzy lion and elephant;
50. When you and mom would visit me in college and in Boston;
51. How you always listened to me bitch about whatever was pissing me off at the moment;
52. Riding rollercoasters with you;
53. Our plans to go white water rafting together;
54. How we share the same love for spicy and stinky foods;
55. Paying for college - thank you and so sorry but mostly thank you;
56. Your support for me to go to live abroad;
57. When you and mom would get mad at me for not spending enough time at home when I came to visit during holidays and the summer while I was still in college (how naive I was to think that you were just being pissy parents when you two just missed me);
58. Your e-mails with pictures or jokes or presentations of beautiful professional photography;
59. Your e-mails with words of encouragement and love;
60. You always came back home after a long business trip abroad;
61. Earth Days;
62. Jersey Boys and Madame Butterfly;
63. How you still love me even though I know I've disappointed you a couple of times in life;
64. The day you came to get me;
65. The letter you sent comparing your and the Bambino's birth stats;
66. How even though you didn't have to have me in your life, you chose to love me and call me your daughter.

I could list more.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!

Love,
Princess PPGB and the Bambino