Cranky advice giver - Do you understand why you have nightmares about accidentally forgetting your son? Or why you have guilt issues of not having a father in his life? Do you realize that you're only hurting him but not going out? You're going to turn him into a Mama's Boy! [read, "Do you get that I'm pretty much calling you an insufficient & inefficient mother?]
Me - Uh...buh?!?!
It's usually (older) family members who prick their venomous stingers in my chest and (forgive the mixed metaphors) pound you with a club on the head making you inable to respond with any kind of rational response. Now I'm not sure if this family member just said this because they were upset that I didn't go out shopping with my other family, leaving the cranky family member with alone time with the Bambino. I don't care what their reason, I didn't ask for their advice and probably never will considering certain facts.
People tell me to take anything that people say, in a negative form, with a grain of salt. Easier said than done when it comes to family. For me I want to honor my family and make them feel secure and confident when it comes to me. Sure I've done a few things in my past that some would consider flaky but if that's the worst that I've done then so be it.
Yes, I'd rather hang out with my son on the weekends than go out and party or go shopping. That's what parents do, they teach their children, discipline them, laugh with them, hug them, provide for them, and love them. Just because I'm a single mom doesn't mean that I can't do all of all of those things. Couple parents vs. single parents - that shouldn't even be allowed to be uttered. Parents are parents and the majority of them do their duties the best that they can, whether they're single or partnered.
I had nightmares of forgetting the Bambino because that's what a lot of new mothers do - they fear that they just might fuck things up. My pangs of guilt of him not having a father influence currently have subsided because he's got my brother, my uncles, and his Poppie to be the male influences that he needs. I don't leave the Bambino much on weekends because that is the only time that we can have a good amount of time together plus when else am I going to get the chance to swim with him in a lagoon or watch him take his first steps? And if he becomes a mama's boy then so be it, most guys are anyway.
How do you handle unsolicited advice?