July 21, 2009

Questions of the universe

Q: Of the two, for who is single parenting easier?
a) Single mother who started from pregnancy?
b) Single parent from a divorce?

This question was raised while I was interviewing someone for an article this past Saturday. It's a great question and a good point. Different types of single parents exist in our world:
  • Single mother from unplanned pregnancy
  • Single mother from planned pregnancy [read artifical insemination]
  • Single mother by choice adoption
  • Single mother from a divorce
  • Abandoned single mother
  • Widowed single mother
  • Widower(ed?) single father
  • Single father from birth - the mother either abandons or simply chooses not to have custody of the child
  • Single father from a divorce
  • Single teen parents

So who is it easier for?

Also, I've noticed that there are more and more teen pregnancies happening in Hawai'i but does that mean that the majority of single parents in Hawai'i are teenagers? Or are they older single women with unplanned pregnancies or divorced single parents?

I'll be exploring these questions for awhile and will be following up on my Examiner.com page which sadly hasn't been updated for some time.


Meandering Bohemian said...

I think being a parent in general is the hardest job on the entire earth... The fact that some people choose, and/or have to do single is amazing.

You forgot one gut wrenching possibility for the father, "single father due to mothers death during pregnancy"... Think "My Girl" Vada was hot, but a headcase!

Megs said...

You know, I really liked this. I feel fortunate that my parents have been married for 37 years now, but I look back on the dynamic I was raised in and cringe.

My parents were constantly at odds with each other over how to raise my sister and I and as such, I feel as though my presence was the source of practically everyone of my family's major uprisings. Nat and I felt pulled in different directions, the possibility of divorce was always held over our heads (thank you, Dad), and I, for one, lived in fear of the idea of our family splitting up.

It is horrible to say, but I often wonder what things would have been like if my folks had split and had been single parents. Would they have been able to persue their ambitions without resistance? Would I have spent more time with my supportive mother rather than with my demeaning father? Who would I be today?

These are the thoughts that sometimes keep me up at night, while I try to sort out who I will be in the future. I can say, wholeheartedly, that I would rather be a single mom, than be in the relationship my mother was in. I think that freedom is priceless.


Related Posts with Thumbnails