How it's been going

Now that the Mancub and I are back on the Island it means that we are no longer with my parents, in Seattle, near my besties and Mr. Fella. I have so much to share and will do throughout the next week along with dedicated posts to the Mancub for his birthday month. Can you believe he's going to be TWO?!?!?!?!?!?! Wow.

But right now, I want to share a bit about Mr. Fella.

Mr. Fella.....

Here's a list as to why I am head over heels over this fella (in no particular order):

• His man voice, it makes me purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr;
• His laugh and reasons why he laughs. He has the most contagious laugh and he will burst with laughter at the most simplest thing. It's adorable and as I mentioned before contagious. We can have a whole telephone conversation where all we do is laugh and our conversations last longer than an hour most of the time;
• He's super easy to talk with;
• He listens;
• He has values, principles and standards and does not falter from them;
• He wanted to meet the Mancub and hoped that my little man would like him...how cute! It just shows that he someday wants a family;
• He's a nature man but can still do the city too;
• When it comes to relationships, he wants a partnership;
  
• He's motivated and follows through; and
  
• His man hands - I want to hold them.

He's a man. A real man. He works with his hands which I've always found super sexy in a man and he has a brain. Not that men who work with their hands don't, it's just that he does and it's super sexy. I feel like he could challenge me intellectually which is important because I can get bored with a man even if he's super hot and manly looking. If he doesn't use that brain, I lose interest pretty quick.

While Mr. Fella and I are still talking and texting we are not a couple. We like each other. Enjoy talking with each other. And while I would love to go for a long distance relationship, he wants his partner to be present; in the same vicinity. I respect that whole heartedly. So, we're just talking. Texting. And I adore him more and more each day.

I miss him. And we only saw each other twice while we were in Seattle but I sure do miss him. I'm not sure where things will go. He knows that I am available for him and only him. How often are you able to find someone that you're able to have a real connection with? Be attracted to?

A few people have suggested that Mancub and I return to Seattle to live there, so Mr. Fella and I can be together. That idea makes me puke. Not because Mr. Fella makes me puke but because doing something, changing my life for a man isn't me. The only man that I'm going to turn my life around for is the Mancub.

Even though I feel as though I could spend the rest of my life getting to know Mr. Fella, my priority is to do what's going to be best for Mancub and me. What's going to make us happy? What will make us feel fulfilled? What's going to make us thrive? What situation is going to work best for me and Mancub? Those are the most important questions to be answered right now.

Anything or anyone else is secondary.

So for now, Mr. Fella and I are talking. Enjoying our conversations and texts. <-- Indeed! I'm texting. How bizarre.

I'm just enjoying getting to know him.

How it went....

I'll try to make this quick:

Meeting up with Mr. Fella with the Mancub in tow was nice, interesting and I wouldn't do it again - at least not in the near future.

Here's why:

• Whenever the Mancub is with me, my attention is constantly referring to him making it damn near impossible to concentrate on anything else;
• This leads to me not being the best conversationalist because I am constantly distracted by but focused on the Mancub;
• I'm not used to the Mancub and I having an extra person around who I'm romantically interested in, which made me feel a little awkward;
  
• This my friends does not make for a good first date/first time we've hung out since EVER even though we went to high school together and knew each other.

So even tough we've known each other for over 10 years we hadn't seen each other since maybe one time after high school graduation. It wasn't exactly as though I was meeting up with an old friend with the Mancub, I was meeting up with someone that I am attracted to and think dirty thoughts about. I won't be making that mistake again.

Other than that, it was a great day. There were laughs, I got to know more about him, he's still swoon-worthy in my eyes. We went to the Pacific Science Center, walked around Seattle Center, watched and sat by the International Fountain, watched a train & went promenading at the Olympic Sculpture Park. Mr. Fella was super sweet and played with the Mancub throughout our time together, which was also a little weird for me as well because I'm not used to men who aren't relatives hanging out with Mancub. But it was mostly sweet. I loved watching the Mancub run around the Tot Area in the PSC - he loooooves water so he spent a lot of time splashing around there. The end of the day was rapid, we were in a drop off zone and cars were driving quickly, he was trying to help me unload, I was trying to unstrap the Mancub so we could catch the ferry on time that all we did was a swift hug and a, "Maybe we can do this again before you leave."

Dudes, I wanted a kiss soooooooooo badly because he looked good and smelled, oh so yummy! My pheromones were bubbling just a wee bit. But how awkward of a situation is that for him? It's our first time hanging out, first time seeing me since high school and I don't look the same as I did back then, first time meeting the Mancub during our first time hanging out - ummmm...even I would question to kiss a single dad in front of his kid.

I asked him if he'd like to hang out Monday evening sans Mancub, that's a maybe.....

So now, the fella is camping.

We've had some fun banter via text since yesterday but we'll see.

"I'm breezy."

Are you happy?

When I scold you I question if I'm doing it right. I don't want you to grow up thinking that you're incompetent. I sometimes wonder if I'm giving you the correct type of discipline. You are at such a delicate and impressionable stage of life, I sometimes wonder if I'm setting a good enough example for you. Am I yelling to loudly? Am I too strict? Am I too lenient? What is the right balance? Am I putting too much pressure on you to be the perfect toddler? Am I too concerned about what Popi and Tutu are going to think?

Are you happy?

That is the question that pops in my mind the most. Are you happy? Am I feeding you enough? Does food make you happy? Am I reading to you enough? Does reading a book fulfill your fancy? Am I playing with you enough? Does running around the house make you squeal? Am I hugging and kissing you enough? Do hugs and kisses warm your heart? Am I clothing you well? Does fashion concern you yet? Am I giving you enough music to listen to? Do your ears require constant stimulation? Am I providing you enough emotional stability? Are you happy?

You make me happy. You love to wake up with my arms around you and if they're not you crawl over and wrap my arm over your sweet little body and squeeze me hand with your hand. When I read to you, you love to stroke my arm - when you're not tapping the pages and telling me what you see. Lately, you've been wanting to snuggle and when we do you like to stroke my face and flick my nose. You also like to declare that my nose is my nose and not my mouth or eyes. I love to watch you run around the patio in your red rain boots, putting water in your big red bucket and splashing the water all over the patio. I also enjoy and cringe when you drink the water from the hose. You make me so happy.

Although I love to watch you sleep I really do love to see you running around chasing the Geckos in the garden, banging your toy golf clubs on the furniture, getting chocolate pudding all over your face, pointing to objects in books, trying to put together a puzzle, living the wonderful life of a curious and loving toddler.

You make me smile.

When people ask what I think you'll grow up to be or what I hope you'll be (which is sometimes a bit ridiculous because you're not even 2 yet!) I just tell them that I hope you're happy. And when they tell me that I'm a good mother, I'll really only when you're old enough to tell you me that you grew up a happy child and that you're happy with life.

So I will always ask myself, "Is the Mancub happy?" And will continue to until you tell me that you are.

Are you happy Mancub?

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