June 24, 2010

Are you happy?

When I scold you I question if I'm doing it right. I don't want you to grow up thinking that you're incompetent. I sometimes wonder if I'm giving you the correct type of discipline. You are at such a delicate and impressionable stage of life, I sometimes wonder if I'm setting a good enough example for you. Am I yelling to loudly? Am I too strict? Am I too lenient? What is the right balance? Am I putting too much pressure on you to be the perfect toddler? Am I too concerned about what Popi and Tutu are going to think?

Are you happy?

That is the question that pops in my mind the most. Are you happy? Am I feeding you enough? Does food make you happy? Am I reading to you enough? Does reading a book fulfill your fancy? Am I playing with you enough? Does running around the house make you squeal? Am I hugging and kissing you enough? Do hugs and kisses warm your heart? Am I clothing you well? Does fashion concern you yet? Am I giving you enough music to listen to? Do your ears require constant stimulation? Am I providing you enough emotional stability? Are you happy?

You make me happy. You love to wake up with my arms around you and if they're not you crawl over and wrap my arm over your sweet little body and squeeze me hand with your hand. When I read to you, you love to stroke my arm - when you're not tapping the pages and telling me what you see. Lately, you've been wanting to snuggle and when we do you like to stroke my face and flick my nose. You also like to declare that my nose is my nose and not my mouth or eyes. I love to watch you run around the patio in your red rain boots, putting water in your big red bucket and splashing the water all over the patio. I also enjoy and cringe when you drink the water from the hose. You make me so happy.

Although I love to watch you sleep I really do love to see you running around chasing the Geckos in the garden, banging your toy golf clubs on the furniture, getting chocolate pudding all over your face, pointing to objects in books, trying to put together a puzzle, living the wonderful life of a curious and loving toddler.

You make me smile.

When people ask what I think you'll grow up to be or what I hope you'll be (which is sometimes a bit ridiculous because you're not even 2 yet!) I just tell them that I hope you're happy. And when they tell me that I'm a good mother, I'll really only when you're old enough to tell you me that you grew up a happy child and that you're happy with life.

So I will always ask myself, "Is the Mancub happy?" And will continue to until you tell me that you are.

Are you happy Mancub?

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