December 17, 2009

Just a little bit unfocused.

I've noticed that in the past month that I've lost a good chunk of my "audience" and for good reason. I mean hey, who wants to read a blog that is totally random and no longer continuously updated?

Errrmm...not me? Not you? Not that guy eating his greasy fast food chain burger with ketchup and fries at his desk?

Thought so.

But that doesn't mean I'm going to close shop. No way. This is my little sanctuary and well sometimes I just can't make a regular appearance to my sanctuary.

Anysnooze. I know that this venue is a bit unsystematic. One day I'm talking about single motherhood. The next I'm showing off my charismatic photo shooting skills. And another day I'm talking about how awesome my friends and family are and how I much I miss this place or that place or some political issue or how geeky I am about gadgets or how I can't go to the bathroom in peace. I know I talk about some different topics and don't really have a focused audience.

In the beginning this place was just supposed to be a place for my friends and family to stop by to see updates on the Bambino. And then it grew into something more because I did something about it but without great effort. I just joined in on some conversations on very focused blogs and wham, bam thank you ma'am here I am.

But that's me. Just a little bit unfocused when it comes to this here blog I suppose. But really I just enjoy talking about a lot of different issues/topics/agendas/baby poop. Because I'm not one thing. Many things make up the person that I am.

The Bambino though he's a person and not ever a thing. Well except for when he was a newborn - he was kind of an alien. But all newborns are. They're just kinda weird beings in the beginning. It's not their fault.

Parenting. The ups. The downs. The sideways. The byways. I'm constantly amazed at how much this little person who I call the Bambino and love with every mililmeter of myself changes everyday. The challenges that I am faced with everyday. The balancing act of single motherhood, work, health and everything that comes with parenthood. The not being able to walk out of the room without the Bambino freaking out because hey for some reason he's got it in his head that if mama leaves the room then she's never coming back!!!! The sharing of how the Bambino loves to blow kisses as he says goodbye to me in the mornings. How he has this HUGE smile when I pick him up from daycare. His refusal to eat with me during the weekends but how he chows down like there's no tomorrow with anyone else. How single parenthood is challenging but I love it and am afraid of the possibility having to share my bed. I like my space. I like the two of us. I love the two of us. I love the Bambino.

Photography. Love to photograph. Love to edit. Full stop.

Music. Love to listen and play any instrument that anyone will let me touch.

Sex. Obviously otherwise I wouldn't be exisiting! Ha ha. Lame joke. But seriously. Sex and the no-sex that is my life right now and will continue to be for another little while which is weird because I used to be a nympho. But in the safe way. You hear that mom and dad? Oh yeah, they don't read this anymore - TMI. T. M. I.

Food. I love it. I love to eat it. I love to smell it. I love to make it. I love to make sure that the Bambino eats lots of it. That's the funny thing about motherhood. We're really never at peace until we know our children are full and happy with lots and lots food in their tiny, tiny bellies. Now I understand why that mom in, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," was always cooking and feeding.

Crafts/design/art. Love to look at it. Touch it if they'll let me. And I always fantasize about how someday I'll know how to make this and that and even better THOSE!

Environmental/political/religious/humanitarian issues. I care about the world. I cry everytime I hear about another child whose life was cut short or doesn't have a chance at higher education. I am not afraid to criticize a person if they don't put that newspaper in a recycling bin. I am eager to learn about a culture different from mine. I especially enjoy a good ecumenical conversation.

Technology. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I am amazed by its advances in connecting people of the world and disgusted at what it has done to interpersonal relationships - it will also be the demise of them. I cannot live without and yet I cannot stand to have it around me. I how it's brought about social media but I also cannot wait until it is the weekend so that I can disconnect myself from the gadget and narcisitic talk. It makes me mad at the world and yet appreciate it at the same time.

Writing/journalism/blogging/pr. Writing. I've been doing it since I was a wee one. I remember I tried writing a screenplay when I was 10-years-old. My dad made copies so that I could bring it to school and have my friends and I act out what I had written. When in high school I knew that if I was going to do any sort of photography it would be photojournalism. So that I could travel and help show the world what was going on. When I lived in Norway I started blogging and writing newsletters to keep my friends and family up to date. And now I do some freelance PR work. It's an interesting relationship these different types of writing but I enjoy each part of it. Though I always have one particular voice in my head when it comes to writing - to help keep my integrity. He knows who he is.

Travel. My heart, mind, body and soul belong to the adventure of traveling. Admittingly I do grow restless when it comes to residence or place of vacation. I want to see what is beyond the fences. Beyond the ocean. Beyond the all that exists. If I could time travel I would but only to witness the "Roaring 20's" or feel the saliva of a Raptor or what the Bambino will be like as a man. I am Hawaiian. I am Irish. I am Jewish. I am African. I am Chinese. I am Norwegian. I am Australian. I am Micronesian. I am part of one big world and all of my self yearns to see it in this lifetime.

All of the above and more are what I am about. What I love to talk about.

So this Restless Mama may be a bit scattered but hey isn't it kind of fun to wonder what I'll be talking about next? I mean we've already got a lot of great people focused on a certain topic or lifestyle or whatever you want to call it. So who needs one more focused blogger on the blogosphere?

Anyway, I choose to see it as the I am focused on general.

And plus, who doesn't like looking at a cute fella like this guy?

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