May 29, 2009

My light bulbs

Regret is something that I try to keep out of my daily vocabulary because I don't have any, sure I have those "if I knew then what I know now" thoughts but that's just it. It's too bad that I wasn't born Brahman but with each mistake I gain a lesson. Sometimes I have to learn a lesson multiple times like the wrong kind of fella or spending too much money but eventually things click and I fix whatever it is that I need to work on.

So here is what I've learned:
  • Not to make snap decisions. Think about my options because what I think is best for my son and I may not be;
  • Have more than what I think will be enough in my bank account when moving or just have more in the emergency fund than I really think I need;
  • Though indulgence is nice, is it really going to be worth me feeling like a cow? No.;
  • If I really want something then work hard for it;
  • Not to let other's people's view of me change how I feel about myself;
  • Stand up for myself. Never let a man (or people in general) tell me that I'm fat and worthless. Never let anyone tell me that I'm a bad mother or that I have bad values;
  • Hang up the phone if the conversation is too heated and going nowhere (but of course tell the person that I can't have this conversation right now because I really don't feel like screaming and having my fetus hear & feel the tension or that I'm just sick of crying on the phone);
  • No more self-centered men or tortured souls. I just don't have the time;
  • Not to let anyone scare me. After giving birth to one really intimidates me...except for my dad...he's a pretty tough nugget. I love you Dad!;
  • Not to scream in the car and think that it's totally ok. It's not for me or the person in the car next to me. It also may be the last conversation you have with that person (thankfully that didn't happen for me);
  • Be patient. One really learns patience once they have children;
  • Don't move into an apartment just because it's fabulous and right on the border of affordability and un-affordibility;
  • Be confident with myself in relationships - Other ladies checkin' out my fella? Great, why wouldn't they? He was (I use past tense since we are no longer together) one good lookin' guy and the kindest;
  • Be more attentive to my friends and family - right now I'm not doing such a great job. One of these days I'll be in the same time zone as the people I love most;
  • Go to class. It's not that hard, you love learning so why don't you just go to class?;
  • Enjoy my future pregnancies (if any do occur) to the fullest and don't even think twice about what other think about me. I wish I had taken more baby bump photos;
  • Use cocoa butter moisturizer!!!! Freakin' books and doctors - I could've saved my stomach from this catastrophe called stretch marks;
  • Don't listen to people when it comes to baby names, in fact don't even tell the public what the baby name will be. Linus was a pretty stellar name but I do love the name Aidan - my little fire ball;
  • Only make time for people you know will make time for you;
  • Let out my frusturation then and there because later on all of my frusturations will pour out to an incomprehensible explosion of tears and babble;
  • Most importantly, learn to relax especially when I'm pregnant. I could've saved myself from epidural, magnesium, and pitocin and had the natural birth I wanted if I had just learned how to relax.

I'm sure I have many more lessons ahead of me but this is what I've learned so far. What lessons have you had to learn?


kasandria said...

Enjoyed reading your blog! Kepp up the good work! Clciked some links for you ;)

Melissa said...

Whoa - that is quite the list, you brave woman! I hear ya on sharing names before the babe is here. I'm definitely keeping my mouth shut next time - its just easier that way.


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